linux sucks

there's no drivers.  even if there is you have to compile them
middle click and anything beyond it like extra mouse buttons is all fucked up
if you want to do anything beyond word processing, it's all text based shit, I though we evolved past that with guis and the mouse
sound is fucked up
why do you have to have a password and and file permission shit.  this isn't a server
no codecs
sucks with flash and any other embeded content(including java)
when a program crashes you have to restart xorg when you dont find it in top.
linux's server-like shit bugs me.  it's like a big hack job so you can run it all on one computer
it boots slow. vista is faster then this shit

middle click and anything beyond it like extra mouse buttons is all fucked up
I have a 9-button mouse. From a fresh install, I could click the side buttons and firefox was flipping back/forward pages, and tilting the wheel did a horiz scroll in every app I tested.

I'm not sure what shitty mid-90s distro you're using, but it doesn't seem fucked up to me at all.

no codecs
mp3s
Again -- out of the box, I was able to play mp3s. Stop using shitty distros.