How do I become a hacker?

Can you tell me?

learn how to use your computer without a mouse, without a monitor, & without a spacebar key

implement http://opengroup.org/susv3xcu/ed.html in haskell.

There is a nice website http://www.ocaml-tutorial.org/

Read http://catb.org/~esr/faqs/hacker-howto.html

>>3
:-)
Hackers and smilies

>>5
That article made me vomit. Terrible!

>>6
Every hacker needs to use smilies with noses. It's a rule.

>>8
citation?

I've realized it's not Paul Graham that I hate, it's everyone who likes him

read SICP

>>8
I don't even put mouths on my smilies. :

>>12
http://picturesforsadchildren.com

Become Chinese. They got a lot of those gooks trying to hack my sever every fucking day.

There's no way to add a kawaii nose over the mouth of my smilies ^_^

>>15
^◬^

>>15-16
^·^

>>17
EXPERT BBCODE WEEABOO

this site will teach you to become a truly 1337 h4xXor: http://www.elite-hackers.com

http://www.kusabax.org/

Read books on network security and familiarize yourself with firewalls, ip routing tables, TCP/IP, honeypots, wireless sniffing, nmap, the works

hello im fairX the haxxor join my community of hackers if you payme enough i will give you access to a private area of haxx ;)
http://forum.curse-x.com/index.php

>>19
:(
Are these people real, or just an ellaborate ban of trolls?

>>19
:(
Are these people real, or just an ellaborate ban of trolls?

I'm not sure what exactly he programmed it in, but it was probably something extremely difficult and involved, like Visual Basic or A+.
Okay, he's trolling.

I'm not sure what exactly he programmed it in, but it was probably something extremely difficult and involved, like Visual Basic or A+

I'm not sure what exactly he programmed it in, but it was probably something extremely difficult and involved, like Visual Basic or A+

We're all afraid to say it, and I'm actually posting behind 12 proxies because I'm scared shitless that someone will identify me, but every single one of us has payed fairX at least ten dollars to learn the fundamentals of hacking.

>>5
Q: What language should I learn first?
XHTML (the latest dialect of HTML) if you don't already know it.
But HTML is not a full programming language.
full programming language
full
Did esr just claim XHTML is a programming language (albeit not a "full" one? What the fuck.

>>29
"GRUN  TING"

>>19
Fuck fuck fuck. I must be retarded since I actually thought for a second that the page was serious. It's very obviously a joke when you read enough of it. Anyways to those who were as stupid as I - check out the real about page:
http://www.elite-hackers.com/?p=about

>>31
kill yoruself

>>32
夜self?

>>33
No, 夜背lf.

By taking Steroids to enhance your mental faculties.

>>34
You obviously meant 夜背ｌｆ

>>36
I did, and now Ｉ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｋｉｎｄ　ｏｆ　ｂａｄ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｉｔ．　：（

What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It's all about the Pentiums, what?
You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
You've got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You're the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller
Uh, uh, loggin' in now
Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got 'em all printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you've had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that's great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is write-protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I beta tested every operation system
Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em
While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'
It does all my work without me even askin'
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide
I believe that your says "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side
In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user
You've got your own newsgroup, "alt.total-loser"
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you

>>38
Fuck I hate this Weird Al faggot so much. He's a damn poser, fuck him.

>>39
I'd like to kiss and feel his bottom

>>38
You just made my day.

Drive THIS WAS THE dog you saw  it coming Why  would anyone use  this site I  got an error  prompt shortly after  running the Ebay  Extreme 4 0  3 1 0  5 Users Online  3 WhatIsMyIP com  clone script 1  Electronic Reminder 2  Frequently Asked Questions  Management Script 3  Complete PHP Bug  Tracking Script 1  Electronic Reminder 2  Frequently Asked Questions  Management Script 3  Fully Featured PHP  Message Boards Script  3 5 Help?

>>19
bampu pantsu

>>43
Q: What type of computer do you have?
A: I am currently running an Alienware. They look the coolest. How I paid for it is strictly confidential.
fuck IHBTroll

>>19
Upon closer inspection, I have to say that this site is fucking genius.