If programming languages were languages

C++ would be English. It's hideously complicated and has stolen ideas from a ton of other languages but didn't get any of them right. Even though everyone claims to know it, few people actually know most of the details. There are people who barely know enough of the language to put something together that mostly works -- but that apparently counts as "knowing" it.

Haskell would be Lojban. It makes perfect sense if you've taken the time to learn it, but it looks so damn weird at first that few people bother, and the ones who do usually go around feeling superior and telling everyone else how marvelous it is. Also, it's insistent on staying "pure" to a fault.

Assembly would of course be Latin. It was perfectly suitable at the time it was created, but practically no one speaks it anymore except for a couple of words and phrases.

HTML would be grunting and pointing. It's ok for communicating ideas, but despite what lower-level primates seem to think, it isn't a real language.

XSLT would be sign language. It *is* a real language, but a really annoying one to use. However, about 0.1% of the time it happens to be the right tool for the job.

Lisp would be German. Combining words together to make new words? Same general idea as "cdaddr".

This is a nice thread.

∀intents purposes.

Fjölnir would be Polish.

All that is known about Polish is that it's slavic language and that you can say "Kurwa" in it.
Somehow you keep hearing that "GRUNNUR" or "Kurwa".


for i in /intents and purposes/*
do
  $something
done

>>80
for all in tents and porpoises

>>85
feral porpoises in tents?

What would LOLCODE be?

>>87
The noises that Helen Keller made.

>>29
It's "intents and purposes".  This shit really has to stop.  "Intensive purposes" doesn't even make sense in context, I will never get why Yanks continue to mangle the saying in this manner.

>>89
I'll hax your anus for intensive purposes.

>>89
Yanks continue to mangle the saying in this manner.
Wut. Why do you blame us?

>>86
Balls deep in a feral porpoise in a tent? Your manager is.

>>59
Oh you.

>>89
What the hell are you talking about?  It's the British that stole the saying from the U.S. and ass fucked it.

>>94
IHBT.

I prefer Forth

>>40
>LISP would be any of the Semitic languages i.e. Hebrew, Arabic, Akkadian...
>
>The Concatenative Languages would be the Germanic Languages.

heh, spirits in the computer

Lisp would be one of these: http://linguistlist.org/forms/langs/GetListOfAncientLgs.html

What about Java?

Java would be English, ａｎｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｗｏｕｌｄ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｋｉｎｄ　ｏｆ　ｂａｄ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｉｔ　：（

Python would be Esperanto.

I thought Forth would Polish (reverse Polish that is).

What would Brainfuck be?

Brainfuck would be Java.

>>104
Wrong thread, please see http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1229645581

K would be Japanese. For an ordinary person it looks nothing like a real language, but those who know it can produce complete words and sentences just by throwing random characters in the mix.

Malbolge would be Klingon. Useless as fuck, but still interesting, at least to laugh at. Nobody really knows it.

Chinese is APL then.

>>87
The sounds that Terri Schiavo made.

>>104
You're being too kind to Java.

>>110
You're
Back, villian, or I will brake thy pate across!

Lain.

Lain.

Lain.

Lain.

Lain.

Lain.

Lain.

I dread to think what Arabic would be.

xcvbnm