C++ would be English. It's hideously complicated and has stolen ideas from a ton of other languages but didn't get any of them right. Even though everyone claims to know it, few people actually know most of the details. There are people who barely know enough of the language to put something together that mostly works -- but that apparently counts as "knowing" it.
Haskell would be Lojban. It makes perfect sense if you've taken the time to learn it, but it looks so damn weird at first that few people bother, and the ones who do usually go around feeling superior and telling everyone else how marvelous it is. Also, it's insistent on staying "pure" to a fault.
Assembly would of course be Latin. It was perfectly suitable at the time it was created, but practically no one speaks it anymore except for a couple of words and phrases.
HTML would be grunting and pointing. It's ok for communicating ideas, but despite what lower-level primates seem to think, it isn't a real language.
XSLT would be sign language. It *is* a real language, but a really annoying one to use. However, about 0.1% of the time it happens to be the right tool for the job.
Lisp would be German. Combining words together to make new words? Same general idea as "cdaddr".
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Anonymous2008-12-20 10:57
Lisp would be any language you want; Guy L. Steele Jr., "If you give someone Fortran, he has Fortran. If you give someone Lisp, he has any language he pleases."
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Anonymous2008-12-20 11:03
lisp would be braille. it's ugly as fuck and completely useless.
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Anonymous2008-12-20 11:50
>>41
Hasn't Guy L. Steele stopped jerking off to Lisp and moved on to Python?
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Anonymous2008-12-20 12:03
Guy Steele the DECIEVER, Abelson the DENIER, Sussman the SUSTAINER.
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Anonymous2008-12-20 12:43
Forth would be any language you want; Elizabeth D. Rather, "If you give someone Fortran, he has Fortran. If you give someone Forth, he has any language he pleases."
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Anonymous2008-12-20 13:18
Haskell would be any language you want; Taro, "If you give someone Fortran, he has Fortran. If you give someone Haskell, he has any language he pleases."
>>56
It is nice to have some consistency in your life, is it not? You are however sadly mistaken, as there are at least two people represented in that sequence of posts.
.'"". I LIKE PYTHON BECAUSE I ENJOY HOMOSEXUAL
c' )"/ S/M. OH GUIDO MAKE ME USE THAT FUCKING
__> /_ INDENTATION. OH BABY I'M CUMMING.
.-`_ ._'-.
( -' \ :/ )/ THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO DO IT: GUIDO'S
\\._| ( // WAY! THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T USE ALL
'-/) \(, CONTROL STRUCTURES. IF YOU NEED A DO-
/ ) ) WHILE LOOP, A SWITCH OR BREAK OUT OF A
/ .'\ | NESTED LOOP, TOO BAD. GUIDO SAYS IT'S TO
/.' \| KEEP THE LANGUAGE CLEAN, BUT IT'S ACTUALLY
|| || TO PUNISN HIS SLAVES. THIS DOESN'T MEAN
__|/ |/__ THAT PYTHON IS FLAWED, JUST WORK AROUND IT.
_._) (,__; FUCK I'M CUMMING AGAIN.
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Anonymous2008-12-21 19:43
http://www.perlmonks.org/?node_id=91701 C++ would probably be absinthe. If you have some, you think you are all-powerful; everyone else just thinks you're really f*cked up.
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Anonymous2008-12-22 4:39
BTW Russian has free order of words in it.
For example:
I am a robot. - Ja robot.
Robot a I am. - Robot ja.