If programming languages were languages

C++ would be English. It's hideously complicated and has stolen ideas from a ton of other languages but didn't get any of them right. Even though everyone claims to know it, few people actually know most of the details. There are people who barely know enough of the language to put something together that mostly works -- but that apparently counts as "knowing" it.

Haskell would be Lojban. It makes perfect sense if you've taken the time to learn it, but it looks so damn weird at first that few people bother, and the ones who do usually go around feeling superior and telling everyone else how marvelous it is. Also, it's insistent on staying "pure" to a fault.

Assembly would of course be Latin. It was perfectly suitable at the time it was created, but practically no one speaks it anymore except for a couple of words and phrases.

HTML would be grunting and pointing. It's ok for communicating ideas, but despite what lower-level primates seem to think, it isn't a real language.

XSLT would be sign language. It *is* a real language, but a really annoying one to use. However, about 0.1% of the time it happens to be the right tool for the job.

Lisp would be German. Combining words together to make new words? Same general idea as "cdaddr".

>>1
Lisp would be German. Combining words together to make new words? Same general idea as "cdaddr".
That's retarded. You've seized on a totally minor detail. No one even uses anything past perhaps CADR. Lisp is a pretty good candidate for lojban though. Good ideas from other languages have been combined with completely novel and unambiguous syntax.