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OUR TIME HAS COME

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 20:29

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 20:30

To say fair's fair.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 20:45

10 months later, I still don't understand Nomads. Can someone teach me?

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 21:07

>>3

Nomads are just one example of all that's wrong with Haskell. This is the main reason these shit languages will never take off: if you can't explain it simply, it means with very high probability that it SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.

That said, I'd appreciate an ENTERPRISE-GRADE description of Monads. All I know is that they make the language useful by allowing to do non-functional stuff, such as BASIC I/O.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 21:32

Please read ``A Gentle Introduction to Category Theory --- the
calculational approach'' by M.M. Fokkinga <http://www.cs.utwente.nl/~fokkinga/mmf92b.pdf>;.  It will provide you with the intellectual groundwork for understanding monads.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 21:35

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 21:39

Gerald J. Sussman doesn't even understand Nomads. Give up before you waste your life studying them.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 22:01

>>4
Basic Input/Output System?

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 22:09

>>4
You could do IO without nomads, but it was less powerful and had some big problems. Before nomads, Haskell had (IIRC) main :: [Response] -> [Request] or something like that. Nomads just provide the structure for effectively combining and sequencing computations.

This explains how the IO monad came to be and how it works:
http://www.stanford.edu/class/cs242/slides/IO.ppt
http://66.102.9.132/search?q=cache:zl09j-97JUgJ:www.stanford.edu/class/cs242/slides/IO.ppt (HTML version with mangled diagrams)

Monads have also been described as like overloading the ';' in C++, if that were possible. For example, the IO monad's version executes the IO t from the previous computation and passes its result to the next computation. In the Maybe monad, the computations following the ';' aren't performed if the previous computation failed. In the list monad, the following computation is performed for every item in the list returned by the computation before it.

Maybe monads do suck donkey balls, but I still think they're better than the stream version. (I know nothing about uniqueness types, so I shall not comment on those.)

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 22:15

>>9
You could do IO without nomads, but it was less powerful and had some big problems.
Why doesn't Clean have `big problems'?

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-05 22:54

>>10
I was referring to the response-request stream model of old, though I didn't make that clear. I did not intend to imply that all non-monadic IO has big problems.

I did briefly mention that I was ignoring uniqueness types.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-06 1:00

FUCK OFF IM NOT GONNA DOWNLOAD OPEN OFFICE JUST TO FUCKING LOOK AT YOUR PPT SLIDES. PPT IS FUCKING PIG DISGUSTING. ALL OFFICE SOFTWARE IS PIG DISGUSTING.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-06 3:58

>>9

>mangled diagrams

Thanks to MS SUCKING DONKEY BALLS, that presentation is mostly mangled even when using Microsoft PowerPoint.

The pleasure of system, printer and office version-dependant font metrics

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-06 6:40

FUCK THIS WEB 2.0 CIRCLEJERKING

http://www.serpentine.com/blog/2008/12/05/functional-programmers-on-twitter/

PS. What the fuck is the point of `Twitter'? It seems like someone designed it with the express purpose of being even more useless than blogs.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-06 7:46

>>14
All the INSIGHT of IM with all the CONVENIENCE of weblogs.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-06 9:48

>>3
If you read the source code for the basic monads (List, State, Maybe), it'll all become clear to you.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-06 12:14

>>16
GO FUCK YOURSELF

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-06 14:29

>>14
It's the reintroduction of telegrams.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 10:45

Will be a proctologist.

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-06 9:51

Back to /b/, ``GNAA Faggot''

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