Scheme is gay and I hope it dies

Lets create a programming language with no functionality and then call it a functional language. Sure a function can return a function but fuck if that returned function can't do more than add two numbers or cut the head off a list. Lets also make it parentheses dependent so some fuck can be lazy when designing a interpreter. The only good thing about Scheme is that my asian professor calls the CDR primitive 'cooter' which is completely contradictory to the language which is nothing more than a giant dong.

Is your other car a cdr?