/prog/'s own esoteric language

Fun idea. Let's make our own programming language.
Conditions:
Must be somewhat useful like ABC.
Not limited to characters only. Can include words.
1 function per post.

>>91
Python does need a better syntax to create multi-line closures. I think I remember hearing about a PEP to have a Ruby-like syntax for it (albeit with FIOC) though I don't know how well it went over.