/prog/'s own esoteric language

Fun idea. Let's make our own programming language.
Conditions:
Must be somewhat useful like ABC.
Not limited to characters only. Can include words.
1 function per post.

>>90
print is already a function in python 3.0, you can already do assignment without a var=value statement by setattr() and locals() (or even globals()), for and while loops aren't functional anyway, and the rest is just differences of syntax.