The BSDs are missing huge chunks of functionality,
Yeah, sure, that's why they have Linux binary compatibility while no Linux distro has BSD binary compatibility.
The obvious conclusion is that the BSDs have all the functionality that Linux has, but Linux doesn't have all the functionality that the BSDs have.
Well, GNU/Linux is a pretty good operating system. Designed by a guy from Finland.
GNAA/Loonix was not "designed" by anyone. It happened because GNAAFags failed to write a working kernel so some guy from Finland who didn't really know anything about kernels hacked one together for them.