Entry Level Jobs

Sup /prog/,

I recently changed my major to comp sci, and plan on taking an emphasis on software engineering. Right now my only problem is having a job while going to school, in that all jobs I can find suck, at least with my resume. Are there any certifications/training I could get that is relative quick to get (i.e. not the BSc I'm going for) that would help tremendously in getting a job somewhere close to related to my field of study?

Having interviewed others when seeking to hire fulltime software developers, I can tell you first-hand that a major in Comp Sci means abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Nobody respects it, and it teaches you nothing.

One of my questions: "Real basically, how does a hash table work?"
Funniest response (from a master's in Comp Sci, no less): "Well, you see, it uses a series of recursive hash buckets."