WELCOME BACK STUDENTS CLASS IS IN SESSION TAKE OUT THE FUCKING GUN AND GIVE IT TO ME BITCH DON'T ACT LIKE I WON'T THROW DOWN I WILL TOTALLY HIT YOU WITH MY JAVA BOOK LOOK HOW BLOATED THIS API IS!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WE DON'T NEED THAT MANY BUILT-IN COMMANDS. AND NEITHER YOU YOUR GUN. THANK YOU. OK STUDENTS, BEFORE WE BEGIN, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM THE MASTERRESTAM EHT I, AND IT'S PRONOUNCED "THE MASS TERRASTEM AT AI", BUT YOU MAY CALL ME THE MASTER, AND IT'S PRONOUNCED "GOD", DO YOU UNDERSTAND? FILTHY /PROG/RAMMERS SIT AT YOUR CUBICLES UPDATING SERVER SOFTWARE USING DISTRIBUTED SYSTEMS WRITTEN BY OTHER PEOPLE, Q/AING FOR SOME YOUNG UPSTART THAT DIDN'T REALIZE THE DOT COM BOOM IS FUCKING OVER. THE ART IS DYING, ALLIES, COMARDS, fhtgnslcnvbhfgdfsdfj, AND IT IS UP TO US TO STOP IT. STOP CHURNING OUT BRAIN-DEAD CODE MONKEYS FROM INDIA! STOP RELYING ON CONTRACTED STAFF TO HANDLE YOUR NETWORKS! WE NEED NOT YOUR IT SOLUTION, JUST DISSOLUTION. I WILL TEAR THE MAGGOTS FROM YOUR SKULLS IN CLUMPS AT A TIME, HOPEFULLY REMOVING THE PARTS OF YOUR BRAINS THAT MAKE YOU IDIOTS, AND HOPEFULLY I EARN A SMALL GAIN ON YOUR INTELLIGENCE EVEN WITH THE LOSS OF YOUR MOTOR SKILLS.
ANYWAY WHERE TO BEGIN THERE IS SO MUCH TO COVER, BUT LOOK AT THE TIME. I MUST REMOVE MYSELF FROM THIS CHAIR FOR FIVE MINUTES TO POUR A GLASS OF GREEN TEA AND INEBRIATE MY SENSES WITH A POT OF RAMEN. FOR IT IS 1:41AM AND TIME TO SMOKE MORE.
STUDENTS, LEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS, AND I SHALL PROVIDE FORTH ANSWERS. ASK ME ANYTHING. STUPID QUESTIONS WILL BE MOCKED BY MYSELF AND THE OTHER STUDENTS. THEN I WILL SKULLFUCK YOUR MOM. CLASS IS DISMISSED. WELCOME TO COMPUTER SCIENCE 141.