Haskell, Lisp/Scheme n shit

Computers do not work with function evaluations, but rather imperatively. Therefore only fags use functional or somewhat-functional programming langauges. Discuss

(setf (car thread) 'youthink))

Computers do not work with loops, rather with goto. Therefore only fags use looping or somewhat looping languages.

>>2
Enjoy your unbalanced parentheses

Coomputer do not work with types, only with numbers. Therefore only fags use typed languages. Discuss.

Coomputer do not work with Enterprise ObjectBeans Factory Singletons, therefore only niggers use Java. Oh wait.

We do not exist to serve the computer. The computer exist to serve us.

Computers do not work with well-rounded emotioanlly-mature human beings, but rather with well-defined clinal logic. Therefore only the autistic and socially-deficient use computers. Discuss

>>8
impact non-unique

>>1
Interesting thought: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
How does this manifest itself in imperative languages?
It doesn't.. computers (waste a lot of energy to) go against the fundamental laws of physics.

>>10
action();
~action();

>>11
fuck off idiot

>>11
hahaha oh wow

>>13
fuck off idiot

go back to assembly if you wish to program according the computer architecture.

go back to manual input of opcodes if you wish to program according the computer architecture.

         A Haskell Lover's Plea

Why should I renounce for you, dear Haskell,
My much yearned for side-effects?
Why should I face the software dragons
Without my weapon, my manly spear of destruction?
They call you non-strict, oh so elegant and pure Ariel.
Yet side-effect celibacy is surely severe.
  Your flesh is too weak, you brutish beast.
  The tarpit demons of software hell await you!
  This sinful habit in which you indulge
  Does more harm than good.
  Restrain yourself! And you too will see
  The wondrous and refined joys of referential transparency!
Alas, I can do without goto, without call/cc.
But sans side-effects, I am lost and forlorn, can't you see?
Oh, lady fairer yet than admirable Miranda (tm),
Scheme's prolix, parenthetical tedium
Is no match for your elegant syntax. What's more,
Your list comprehensions outshine even Prolog for sure...
   Ah, flatter me not, you low-spirited Caliban!
   Do you not know what advantages await
   Those who renounce destructive update?
   Start with an immaculate high-level specification,
   Throw in some algebraic code transformation.
   Soon you will have a provably correct and maintainable implementation.
Show mercy on mere mortals like me!
How I dream still of the efficient pleasures of pointer manipulation!
How I too wish to mutate memory with thoughts born of von Neumann earthiness!
Relent! Relent! Let me have my assignment, my printf, my gensym.
Let me fulfill my destructive impulses.
Let me set bang. Let me update. Let me assign. Let me mutate.
   Fear not, lowly beast, I have heard your pleas.
   To satisfy your low-level desire
   I'll give you monads, linear types, MADTs,
   Even single-threaded polymorphic lambda calculi.
   My beauty may suffer, still I will aspire
   To let you do (within typeful limits) what you please.
Rejoice!  Rejoice!  I'm free! I'm free!
The best of both worlds is mine at last.
Oh, infinite progeny of Church, Hope, and ML,
I curry favor not when I say:
Scan me right, fold me left,
Lazy lady of many shapes, you've got class.

This thread. I lold at it.

Computers do not work with stacks, but rather registers. Therefore only fags design computers.

Computers can't compute love.

>>20
Mine can. Maybe you need to switch to Linux.

>>21
Linux can't compute love either.

>>22
Linux is Touring-complete and can thus compute love.

>>23
Q.E.D.

>>23
s/Touring/Turing/g

s/>>25/lurkmoar/g

>>26
Actually, it's spelled as Turing, look it up on Wikipedia.
Also, YHBT. YHL. HAND.

>>27
Nah, it is you who has been trolled.

>>28
I disagree, for it really is you who has been trolled.

>>29
Surely you jest!
Hah, behold, I am clearly a ^superior being for I call upon the arcana of BBCode you wouldn't be able to comprehend with your pitiful excuse _{for a brain} in your entire miserable lifetime.

>>30
Ah, [overline]BBCode[/overline], the greatest of all languages.

>>31
lol [b]fail[/b]

>>31
^F_A^I_L

>>31
Forsooth;
Alas, ^beyond the grasp of thee and mere mortals akin to _thee.

>>30
Anonymous has finally gone crazy. Poor anon...

>>30
haha o wow. how long did it take for you to type that? please don't tell me you have an easy to use bbcode compiler.

[i][o][spolier]B[spolier]B[spolier]C[spolier]o[spolier]d[spolier]e[/o][spolier] [spolier]i[spolier]s[spolier] [spolier]e[spolier]a[spolier]s[spolier]y[spolier].[/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/i]

[spolier]B[spolier]B[spolier]C[spolier]o[spolier]d[spolier]e[spolier] [spolier]i[spolier]s[spolier] [spolier]e[spolier]a[spolier]s[spolier]y[spolier].[/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier]

BBCode is easy.

>>36
bbcode-mode.

Features syntax highlight and, more importantly, tags-around-region.

[spolier]B[spolier]B[spolier]C[spolier]o[spolier]d[spolier]e[spolier] [spolier]i[spolier]s[spolier] [spolier]e[spolier]a[spolier]s[spolier]y[spolier].[/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier][/spolier]

>>41
VALID PERL CODE

>>41
Invalid [spolier]B[/spiler]B[blink]code[/blink].

>>40
I wrote a bbcode-mode some months ago. Is someone actually using it?

>>44
repost please

>>45
I don't have it anymore. I just posted in some thread and, after realizing that it sucks ass and that I can't be bothered to make it suck less, deleted it. I think you can look it up somewhere, though.

http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1189890666/4

This?

>>47
I'm not quite sure. My mode had some support for syntax highlighting, but probably I didn't post those parts.

[m]
    ;;; bbcode-mode.el --- BBCode editing commands for Emacs

    ;; Copyright (C) 2007 Free Software Foundation, Inc.

    ;; This file is NOT part of GNU Emacs.

    ;; This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or
    ;; modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License
    ;; as published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2
    ;; of the License, or (at your option) any later version.

    ;; This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
    ;; but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
    ;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.  See the
    ;; GNU General Public License for more details.

    ;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
    ;; along with this program; if not, write to the Free Software
    ;; Foundation, Inc., 51 Franklin Street, Fifth Floor, Boston,
    ;; MA 02110-1301, USA.

    (defun aa-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "" ""))

    (defun b-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "" ""))

    (defun code-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "[code]" ""))

    (defun i-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "" ""))

    (defun o-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "" ""))

    (defun s-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "" ""))

    (defun spoiler-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "" ""))

    (defun u-region (&optional arg)
      (interactive "P")
      (insert-pair arg "" ""))

    (provide 'bbcode-mode)
[/m]
It misses tags

>>49
You missed the tags.

Don't call me gay, but I need some mary jay!

Marijuana MUST be legalized.