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Funny programming stories

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-01 23:48

I was doing a little operations research work with Dick Larson one semester. We had to sort 300,000 phone numbers which I figured would take a long time on my beloved Symbolics 3600. I said to myself "Why not use the 50 MIPS, 64-Mbyte RAM HP RISC machine on your desk for something other than reading mail?". I wrote a little program in MIT Scheme; it went off into never never land. I pulled out Rivest's book on Algorithms and wrote myself a radix sort. The program still just thrashed. I talked to all the Scheme wizards around me who gave me various incantations for running MIT Scheme with more heap. No answer.

Finally, Gerry Sussman said "Of course, you can't expect Lisp to do something like that; Lisp can't do things like this. If you want to deal with massive data sets, you have to use C. It is sad but true." I said, "Gerry, I think this would run on an old 1 MIPS 3600 with 8 Mbytes of RAM. I'd just rewrite this in Common Lisp. The code would be cleaner because of the generic functions for sequences and I'll throw out my private sort function and just use the one built into Common Lisp." Sussman said "If that is true then the whole Scheme project has been a waste and I'll shut it down."

"Don't say that, Gerry!" I admonished. "I've written a lot of Lisp Machine programs over the years and I'm pretty sure that it can do this." Sussman was insistent. If that creaking old LispM could sort the phone numbers, MIT Scheme was history.

It took me 20 minutes to convert the code, which ended up being about one third as many lines. It took 45 minutes to run on the 3600 whose paging bar was on continuously (reading a 30 Mbyte file into VM) but it terminated with the answer I needed.

Gerry was despondent until Bill Rozas, his grad student and one of the scheme implementors, showed up. "Of course MIT Scheme couldn't run it. That's because you were using READ to read numbers. You can't do that for 300,000 numbers. You have to write your own READ-NUM that is specialized just to read numbers. Then it will run fine." Sussman breathed a big sigh of relief. I switched to Macintosh Common Lisp.

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 0:03

LIES!! LORD SUSSMAN WOULD NEVER TALK LIKE THAT!!

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 1:26

that was great
you are great

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 1:48

                       //`'''```,
             o        //LISP   `.,
       ,....OOo.   .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
    .'      ____.,'.//
   / _____  \___/.'
  | / ||  \\---\|
  ||  ||   \\  ||
  co  co    co co

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 2:16

>>4
Shutup suave yoshi lisp.

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 3:00

>>2 !!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 6:19

>>1
hahah awesome troll

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 6:39

>>1
The Sussman was testing you.

Name: Anonymous 2007-12-02 6:42

>>5
It's the space lisp toad.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 9:00


The road You will   charge 10 for   because all Mac   OS X developers   love it because   of the lulz   If you guys   are horny idiots   who hover over?

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