LOL I GOT MAD HOES AND I GOT MAD BITCHES
IM CODING IN C AND I BRANCH WITH SWITCHES
JAVA PROGRAMMING AND C++
I PROGRAM MY HOMIE PASS THE DUTCH
JAVA PROGRAMMING AND C++
JAVA
SHOW ME YOUR 1337 TECH RAPS, PROGRAMMER DUDES
Name:
!MhMRSATORI2007-10-08 10:16
Yo, MC Plus Plus, my rhymes are so phat,
I'm PSPACE-complete but I'll reduce you to 3-SAT.
My crew is so hard that we roll in NP,
And bitches dereference my pointer for free.
When I'm linear probing they're like, "Damn that's gigantic,"
I showed it to your mom and she used Hoare semantics.
She jumped like JNE up onto my erection
And I picked up that ho like straight garbage collection.
("That's right, mark-and-sweep on these nuts, bitch.")
My lyrics get stolen by sucker MCs,
I gotta sign my rhymes with PGP;
But I keep on generatin' like a CFG
'Cause there's so much drama in the PhD.
What's wrong MC Plus Plus, am I making you nervous?
Even skanky fat hoes give you denial of service.
You'll probably go to jail before you write your dissertation
So prepare your asshole for some internal fragmentation;
<Uhhh> Penetration, as they fill it up with jism,
It's too bad you aren't closed under homomorphism.
Your problem, Plus Plus, is that your typing isn't strict:
In ML my type is real and your type is 'a dict.
I control my flow better than TCP,
I rep the west coast like Eazy-E,
You best not front if you can't pass the GRE,
'Cause there's so much drama in the PhD.
My flow is so intense that I will overflow your buffer,
Corrupt your stack pointer makin' all your data suffer.
I've got saturated edges but your flow is sparser,
Real gangstas sip on Yacc; instead you generate a parser.
While you're busy poppin' stacks I'll pop a cap in your skull,
While you smoke your crack pipe I'm gonna pipe you to /dev/null.
I may not have a label but I rap like a star;
I'm an unsigned long int and you're an 8-bit char.
Your mom circulates like a public key,
Servicing more requests than HTTP.
She keeps all her ports open like Windows ME,
Oh, there's so much drama in the PhD.
DWORD to your moms, I came to drop bombs;
I've got more rhymes that San Jose's got dotcoms.
I rep the Farm like 50 reps Queens,
With more power than multitape Turing Machines.
Blowin' up the rap scene faster than factorial functions,
I'm dope like PNP transistors and I'll saturate your junctions.
By the time you've rhymed one line, I've already busted ten;
You rap in exponential time and I'm big-O of log(n).
I run gmake and gcc,
And I ain't never called malloc without calling free.
I'll beat your ass until it's colored like a red-black tree
'Cause there's so much drama in the PhD.
Bitch.
Name:
!MhMRSATORI2007-10-08 10:19
Whoops, I mean this:
I guess I'll have to shut you down for good this time,
Already tried a SIGQUIT, so now it's KILL DASH 9.
You gotta learn when it's time for your thread to yield;
It shoulda slept; instead you stepped and now your fate is sealed.
I'll take your process off the run queue without even asking
'Cause my flow is like reentrant and preemptive multitasking.
Your sad rhymes are spinnin' like you're in a deadlock,
You're like a synchronous sock that don't know when to block;
So I pull out my keyboard and I pull out my glock,
And I dismount your girl and I mount /proc
And I've got your fuckin pid and the bottom line
Is that you best not front or else it's KILL DASH NINE.
KILL DASH NINE,
No more CPU time.
I run KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine.
I run KILL DASH NINE,
'Cause it's MY time to shine
So don't step outta line or else it's
KILL DASH NINE!
See it ain't about the Benjamins or Pentiums or Athlons,
But you rappin' 50 meters while I'm spittin' in decathlons.
Your shit's old and busted, mine's the new hotness;
You're like CLR and I'm like CLRS.
You're running csh and my shell is bash,
You're the tertiary storage; I'm the L1 cache.
I'm a web crawling spider; you an Internet mosquito;
You thought the 7-layer model referred to a burrito.
You're a dialup connection; I'm a gigabit LAN.
I last a mythical man-month; you a one-minute man.
It's like I'm running Thunderbird and you're still stuck with Pine,
Which is why I think it's time for me to KILL DASH NINE.
Yeah it's KILL DASH NINE
No more CPU time.
'Cause it's KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine.
I said KILL DASH NINE
'Cause it's my time to shine,
So don't step outta line or else it's
KILL DASH NINE!
My posse throws down like leaky bucket regulators;
I was coding shit in MIPS while you were playing Space Invaders.
With my finger on the trigger I run ./configure
Yo, this package is big, but MY package is bigger.
I roll my weed with Zig Zag while I zag-zig splay,
And I do a bounds check before I write to an array.
I'm a loc'd out baller writing KLOCS a day,
'Cause it's publish or perish, fool, what can I say?
I'm 26 now, will I live to see 28?
Some days I wonder if I'll survive to graduate.
But hey, that's just fine, I won't ever resign,
And if fools try to step then it's KILL DASH NINE!
Yeah it's KILL DASH NINE,
From my command line
It's KILL DASH NINE
Sending chills down your spine,
I said KILL DASH NINE,
'Cause it's my time to shine,
So don't step outta line or else it's
KILL DASH NINE!
fs sa rlidwka
I'll chown your home and take your access away
Comin' straight outta Stanford, ain't nobody tougher,
Control-X, Control-C, I'll discard your fuckin' buffer.
You're outside your scope, son, close them curly brackets,
'Cause I drop punk-ass bitches like a modem drops packets.
Dump your motherfucking core, and trace your stack
'Cause where your ass is going, there won't be no callback.
See my style is divine and my code is sublime,
My career's in a climb and yours is in a decline.
I'll write a pound-define and assign you as mine,
So refine those sad rhymes or remove your plus signs,
Or it's KILL DASH NINE,
No more CPU time,
'Cause it's KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine,
I said KILL DASH NINE
'Cause it's my time to shine,
Bitch you stepped outta line and now it's
KILL DASH NINE!
I listen to Infected Mushroom while I write Java because I am 1337.
Name:
Anonymous2007-11-04 21:51
I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU I HAVE A PENIS DO YOU
>>23
When I was a wee lad I had a near-fatal accident with a cheese grater while indulging in an activity which could only have been described as inter-species erotica with a handsome inanimate object while sampling some delectable Brie. It was only later in the evening that I discovered that my newfound love had given me third degree herpes and that it was the opinion of multiple highly-trained doctors that the only reasonable course of action was to remove the afflicted appendage. tl;dr you can tune a filesystem, but if you cdr your penis, you're shit out of luck.
Name:
Anonymous2007-11-05 6:47
ITT, nerds trying to be funny
Name:
Anonymous2007-11-05 7:19
I had sex with my sister
I loved it
Name:
Anonymous2007-11-05 16:44
networking 'raps', maybe not what you youngsters today listen to
Twas the night before start-up and all through the net,
not a packet was moving; no bit nor octet.
The engineers rattled their cards in despair,
hoping a bad chip would blow with a flare.
The salesmen were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of data nets danced in their heads.
And I with my datascope tracings and dumps
prepared for some pretty bad bruises and lumps.
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
There stood at the threshold with PC in tow,
An ARPANET hacker, all ready to go.
I could see from the creases that covered his brow,
he'd conquer the crisis confronting him now.
More rapid than eagles, he checked each alarm
and scrutinized each for its potential harm.
On LAPB, on OSI, X.25!
TCP, SNA, V.35!
His eyes were afire with the strength of his gaze;
no bug could hide long; not for hours or days.
A wink of his eye and a twitch of his head,
soon gave me to know I had little to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
fixing a net that had gone plumb berserk;
And laying a finger on one suspect line,
he entered a patch and the net came up fine!
The packets flowed neatly and protocols matched;
the hosts interfaced and shift-registers latched.
He tested the system from Gateway to PAD;
not one bit was dropped; no checksum was bad.
At last he was finished and wearily sighed
and turned to explain why the system had died.
I twisted my fingers and counted to ten;
an off-by-one index had done it again...
Name:
Anonymous2007-11-05 16:56
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
x2
Hoarders may get piles of money,
That is true, hackers, that is true.
But they cannot help their neighbors;
That's not good, hackers, that's not good.
When we have enough free software
At our call, hackers, at our call,
We'll throw out those dirty licenses
Ever more, hackers, ever more.
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
x2
Yo, yo MC Plus+ on this classical shit.
Yah I know you feeling this beat
Turn it up in my headphones.
So you I could code, didn't know I could flow
Well, this track right here is to let y'all know
Comin' straight out the lab running low on sleep,
and I ain't gonna stop 'till I get that PhD
Project 2 in the databases,
around deadline I see desperate faces.
Concurrency control using two phase lockin'
two writes coming in, second one is blockin'
And the GUI I wrote is outta control
man to get this done, I'd sell my soul
Sittin in the lab and I'm codin' all night,
project won't compile - it'll be alright.
Computer Science for life,
and that's my direction.
Instead of b-balls, my homies throw exceptions.
Yeah yeah MC Plus+,
you know how we do,
comin' straight from Purdue.
Can't mess with me, man,
when I'm codin' in C
Some know me as the Java master
Fuck with me, man,
if you want a disaster.
Your demise couldn't be faster,
my lyrical jism will cover you like plaster.
I don't need source,
I read assembly of course.
I knock you out,
Like a game of horse.
Like the Jedi master, dawg,
I use the force.
Yo-
Isosurfacin', and marching cubes
It's visualization so you know how we do
Ray-casting, fool
flow visualization
Try to pass quals
before vacation,
compilers with Hosking,
man, I failed the first test.
Class too early, dawg,
but I'm tryin' my best.
LR tables
with one lookahead,
man, that ain't enough to get my lazy ass outta bed.
(sonic boom)
See you in the lab and I'm codin' all night
Project won't compile, it'll be alright
Computer science for life and that's my direction
Instead of b-balls, my homies throw exceptions
Yeah yeah that's MC Plus+ on this track,
I hope you're feelin' it.
I'm out this bitch,
close braces!