How do I write a program to get laid?

plz hlp

I think python would be best cause it sounds like a snake and I got a snake in my pants.

>>11
True. Girls don't care about geeks because they are smart and treat them like people; women hate this (they love to be treated like crap and beaten by drunkard gangs, they call this "funny"). However, they love money as much as they love their mums, and they wet themselves when they think of buying a new pair of shoes every day. Yes, they're THAT shallow.

Ugh. I don't want a girl. And I'm not gay. Therefore I'll remain alone, unless I find a girl that doesn't fit the aforementioned description.