Lisp? More like dicksp.

Call me when there's a Lisp .NET, maybe then it'll be a little useful.

For the big lulz you need JavaFX:
JavaFX is a new family of Sun products based on Java technology and targeted at the high impact, rich content market. JavaFX Script is a highly productive scripting language that enables content developers to create rich media and content for deployment on Java environments. It has first-class functions, declarative syntax, list-comprehensions, and incremental dependency-based evaluation.

It would be against everything the Java platform stands for, if it wasn't slow and bloated as fuck.