lulz

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first sits down and orders a beer. The second sits down and orders half a beer. The third sits down and orders one quarter of a beer.

The barman pours two beers and says "you're all arseholes"

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting in a café and notice people going into and coming out of the house across the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The physicist: "The measurement was not accurate."
The biologist: "They have reproduced."
The mathematician: "If one person enters the house, then it will be empty again."