The EXPERT PROGRAMMER manifesto

1.    I program, sometimes fanatically, writing whole Enterprise Solutions in one day, yet no one must find out.
2.    I shamelessly rape all forms of media in order to obtain information on the latest and greatest programming languages, taking care to keep a bushel of disposable e-mail addresses at hand in case a membership is required to view certain sites.
3.    No, I don’t want to read your blog.
4.    I may be a jock, nerd (but unlikely if still in closet), cheerleader, 30-year-old-pervert (i.e. Dad), or the quiet foreign kid at the back of the class who doesn’t seem to understand the language but still manages to surpass you in all endeavors. You’ll never know.
5.    My programming schedule is similar to the Christ-in-dessert diet, in the sense that temptation is gallantly denied over long periods of time; however, likenesses cease sporadically when I will lapse in to a programming binge similar to the collapse of a desperately obese person’s diet.
6.    In school, I pay no attention to the various programming memes or clubs as the case may be, and secretly fear their fanatic members, seeing them as appalling premonitions of a bleak future. (I must stress now that I have no desire to become a constant bubbly tribute to hacker culture, sporting pants with indecent amounts of holes and constantly dropping various programming jokes that have been picked from the Internet: i.e. ``my other car is a cdr''…etc.)
7.    I understand and wield a powerful editor (Vim), in a similar way to a +12 mage wielding a wand of protection.
8.    I wish to be The Flying Sussman and slightly older, only so that my hobby will feel more natural.
9.    I don’t download, only share.
10.    My biggest fear is discovery of my ignominious secret and widespread distribution of it to all my friends and peers by means of particularly descriptive and colourful pamphlets.

I don’t want to know you, do not seek me out. Though tempting, clues to my secret identity have not been laced throughout the preceding literature.

-Anonymous(duh).

1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements
with care, for verily its perception and judgement oft exceed thine.

2. Thou shalt not follow the NULL pointer, for chaos and madness
await thee at its end.

3. Thou shalt cast all function arguments to the expected type if
they are not of that type already, even when thou art convinced that
this is unnecessary, lest they take cruel vengeance upon thee when thou
least expect it.

4. If thy header files fail to declare the return types of thy
library functions, thou shalt declare them thyself with the most
meticulous care, lest grievous harm befall thy program.

5. Thou shalt check the array bounds of all strings (indeed, all
arrays), for surely where thou typest 'foo' someone someday shall
type 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'.

6. If a function be advertised to return an error code in the event
of difficulties, thou shalt check for that code, yea, even though the
checks triple the size of thy code and produce aches in thy typing
fingers, for if thou thinkest 'it cannot happen to me', the gods
shall surely punish thee for thy arrogance.

7. Thou shalt study thy libraries and strive not to re-invent them
without cause, that thy code may be short and readable and thy days
pleasant and productive.

8.  Thou shalt make thy program's purpose and structure clear to thy
fellow man by using the One True Brace Style, even if thou likest it
not, for thy creativity is better used in solving problems than in
creating beautiful new impediments to understanding.

9. Thy external identifiers shall be unique in the first six
characters, though this harsh discipline be irksome and the years of
its necessity stretch before thee seemingly without end, lest thou tear
thy hair out and go mad on that fateful day when thou desirest to make
thy program run on an old system.

10. Thou shalt foreswear, renounce, and abjure the vile heresy which
claimeth that 'All the world's a VAX', and have no commerce with the
benighted heathens who cling to this barbarous belief, that the days of
thy program may be long even though the days of thy current machine be
short.

OP is fail, the only true editor is ed.

>>3
Ed is for girls. Real Men inject iron filings into to their cock and spank the bits out with a magnet right across the tape head.

Iron fillings are for pussies.  Even realer MEN kill their families and use the blood as bead lube to construct complicated abacus Pr0n FTW.

>>1
OOOOOOOooooooo the OP was SO CLOSE TO PERFECTION, Just a shame he said VIM instead of EMACS.

>>6
I think you meant instead of VI?  I'm sure you didn't mean to mention the most bloated excuse for an editor in existence(Note: GUI editors are not editors they are just retarded).

NANO 4 LYFE

I LISTEN TO INFECTED MUSHROOM WHILE I WRITE C# BECAUSE I LEVERAGE SYNERGIES TO PROVIDE A SCALABLE MULTI-TIERED ENTERPRISE-CLASS SOLUTION THAT TURNS CUSTOMERS INTO BUSINESS PARTNERS

>>6

Spot on old chap. http://www.dina.dk/~abraham/religion/

Faggets. Vi is the true editor, Vim comes close. Emacs is right there after Notepad for Windows.

He said "a powerful editor" and gave Vim just as an example, you stupid fucks. I'm sure Emacs and Vi classifies as powerful.

>>12
Wrong, when I say Vim I mean Vim, not some crap.

saging this bullshit

VI IS GOOD BUT IT CAN'T EDIT XML FILES AS WELL AS EMACS

My other carpenter is a cdrpenter.

The development since the  the very start  best GNU Emacs  Emacs and stop  stop coding in.

>>8
How $c) I $c) do I do