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Programming Jokes

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 6:41 ID:nmbUVY+e

Post some of your good programming jokes here!
A good one I know is:
"My other car is a cdr" as in car and cdr from LISP

Also,
Why do programmers always confuse christmas and halloween?
Because oct[31] = dec[25]

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 8:23 ID:7h0v+VpD

$ touch nipples
$ cd /pub; more beer
$ man touch

Because oct[31] = dec[25]
lol that was a good one

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 8:38 ID:Heaven

mv '>>1' /dev/null

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 9:03 ID:OFLlRbUO

as in car and cdr from LISP
Explaining jokes makes them funnier.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 9:18 ID:nmbUVY+e

>>3
That's not very funny :(
There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those you understand the binary numbering system, and those who do not.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 9:34 ID:r8CHMTeT

Some quote from bash.org went like this:

Guy 1> In binary, 0 was considered to be false and 1 true, right?
Guy 2> 1

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 9:41 ID:yPuz0zVT

>>5
That's only 2 types of people, kow.
STUPID

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 9:54 ID:9C4GCRrh

>>3
lulz, funny for some reason/

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 11:00 ID:Heaven

THIS IS WHY YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING LINK 4CHAN ON REDDIT YOU FAGS

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 11:27 ID:Heaven

>>9
SECONDING THIS

STOP LINKING 4CHAN ON REDDIT YOU WORTHLESS SHITS

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 11:29 ID:xsvfnfNC

bash.org is a good source on this stuff.

DeusXMac: sex?
themole: unzip;strip;touch;grep;grep;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep (Core dumped) general protection fault... core dumped.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 11:57 ID:Oy/IxR8p

nobody in this thread is ever getting laid, including me

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 11:59 ID:4ZwKIxk9

2b |! 2b = 1

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 12:29 ID:r8CHMTeT

>>9
Lol, I was thinking exactly the same. >>1 is clearly not one of us world4channers, too nice a person and lacks wit.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 12:55 ID:tyfBpoS6

>>1


#include <assert.h>

class BaseConverter {
  int m_base;

public:
  BaseConverter(const int base) : m_base(base) { return; }

  unsigned int operator[](int n) const {
    unsigned int val = 0;
    unsigned int s = 1;

    while(n) {
      val += s*(n%10);
      s *= m_base;
      n /= 10;
    }

    return val;
  }
};

int main(int, char**) {
  BaseConverter dec(10);
  BaseConverter oct(8);

  assert(oct[31] == dec[25]);

  return 0;
}

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 13:03 ID:nSOwR0Bs

>>14
>>1 has clearly trolled you all!

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 13:06 ID:bHDnmqt/

>>15
Not enterprise enough. Base conversion is clearly a job for multi threading.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 13:13 ID:Heaven

There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, those who don't and those who confuse binary with trinary.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 13:51 ID:tyfBpoS6

>>15

Replace everything from main on down with:


namespace Converters {

  template <int base>
  class SingletonConverter : public BaseConverter {
  private:
    SingletonConverter<base>* m_i = 0;
    SingletonConverter() : BaseConverter(base) { return; }
  public:
    const SingletonConverter<base>& instance() const {
      if(!m_i)
        m_i = new SingletonConverter<base>();
      return *m_i;
    }
  };

  typedef SingletonConverter<10> dec;
  typedef SingletonConverter<8> oct;
};

int main(int, char**) {
  const BaseConverter& dec = Converters::dec::instance();
  const BaseConverter& oct = Converters::oct::instance();

  assert(oct[31] == dec[25]);

  return 0;
}

  class dec;
  class oct;

  class dec : public BaseConverter {
  private:
    static dec* m_i = 0;
    dec() : BaseConverter(10) { return; }
  public:
    dec* instance() {
      if(!m_i)
        m_i = new dec();

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 13:53 ID:tyfBpoS6

>>19

Feel free to add the static keyword and remove the gunk I left at the bottom, too.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 20:51 ID:OTV6eA89

>>19
This is a scalable solution

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 21:20 ID:Heaven

EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 21:21 ID:Heaven

EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 21:21 ID:Heaven

EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``GTFO''

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-08 11:23 ID:n7b0PNGU

Why did the crazy programmer have to be institutionalized?
xor sanity, sanity

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-08 11:48 ID:mCYrDrTa

>>24

EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''
EXPERT PROGRAMMER SAYS ``Disregard, I suck cocks.''

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-08 19:53 ID:59k/N5qW

Scheme took all defun out of Lisp.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-08 19:54 ID:Ei5lyJcs

expert programmer detected

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-08 20:02 ID:OgpvKNcs

http://groups.google.co.uk/group/comp.lang.c++/browse_thread/thread/1dbfb3a32331f1e9/4a59d554c6455000

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-08 21:02 ID:4NtUrr+Y

I like this joke:

A constant and e^x are walking down the street when they
see a differential operator approaching. 

The constant panics and runs away, naturally, but e^x says
"Ha, watch this, coward, I'll go shake hands with him."

When e^x introduces himself, the differential operator says
"Hi, I'm d/dy."

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-08 21:24 ID:XEiIHI5p

>>26
Expert TeXnician says ``I quote shit like this.''

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 1:45 ID:/wxU+x3G

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are watching a building.

At 1:00, two people enter the building.
At 1:30, two people leave the building.
At 2:00, another person leaves the building.

They gather to discuss this.

The physicist says: "Clearly, we must have made an error in our observations."
The biologist says: "Well, according to the laws of nature, they must have reproduced."
The mathematician says: "Now, if one more person enters the building, it will be empty again."

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 5:30 ID:E7ivPmlX

>>30
ex and a constant are walking down the street. They turn into a dark alley, and a derivative operator jumps out of the shadows and blocks their path.

"Oh no," says the constant, "He's going to turn me into nothing!"

"It's okay," says ex, "I'm ex and I'm not afraid of derivative operators. They can't harm me."

So, ex walks down the alley and greets the derivative operator, "Hi, I'm ex."

And the derivative operator replies, "Hi, I'm d/dy."

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 5:40 ID:DCLgHwNx

USING: kernel math sequences-internals ;
: sort ( seq quot -- result )
over length 1 <=
[ drop ] [ over >r >r divide r> conquer r> like ] if ;
inline

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 10:38 ID:DsKkr+XW

>>29
Ahahaha oh wow...I thought usenet was populated by at least non-dumb people. It's the c++ newsgroup and they don't even know base conversion and calculus. el-oh-el.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 14:51 ID:gFg6ivy5

>>34
what the fuck is that? joy?

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 15:31 ID:Vblqpd4C

>>36
factor

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 17:48 ID:CeRdVThf

microsoft

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 21:12 ID:XSVs/bOg

>>36

Looks like Forth with a few extensions to me.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-09 22:50 ID:Vblqpd4C

>>39
http://www.factorcode.org/
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