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4. Does your child read hacking manuals?

Name: Anonymous 2006-11-11 19:26

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.
There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.
If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

6. Does your son use Quake?
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature.
Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself.

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

Name: Anonymous 2006-11-19 13:32

>>37

U NERD
UR 15
GO OUTSIDE
REPORTED FOR UNDER AGE

Name: Anonymous 2006-11-19 13:33

>>40
>>41
want to talk about it?
be a man and challenge me!
TeamSpeak download: www.goteamspeak.com
TeamSpeak Server: 65.23.154.218:9797

Name: I challenge you! 2006-11-20 0:07

PIKATSU I CHOOSE YOU !!GOOGOGO

Name: Anonymous 2006-11-22 12:25

...

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 6:59

WELCOME TO PAST, BITCHES

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 7:25

God-fucking-damn it every time I read this, I am working really hard to suppress my RAGE. And I thought that I am resistant to trolling.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 8:02

i lold so hard i need new pants

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 8:38

>>46
When IRL, ignorance of this level is best countered with more "ignorance". What you do is question basically everything as if you were completely ignorant. Of course, you know already understand the correct answer to your questions before you even ask them.

The Internet is different matter though. It's best not to feed the trolls.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 8:41

If you see the word "LOLI" during your windows startup
WTF? CHILD MOLESTER!

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 9:11

>>49
back to /b/, please

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 13:35

We should preserve this article so future generations may learn of this particular anon's stupidity.
Also for the lulz

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 13:43

>>51

i allready copied this in my buffer .

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 13:51

>>2
Must be the troll here, because i raged more reading him than i got bored reading OP, and i got reeeealy bored reading it.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 13:56

>>52
BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA BUFFA

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 14:00

>>53
You can't really call him troll, because he wrote more than people commented on his post.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 15:06

>>51
lulz
Please go somewhere else.

Name: RedCream 2008-08-13 16:12

>>56
lawl u sux

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-13 23:24

>>2

holy fuck what a waste of lifetime

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-14 1:11

>>2 is copy pasta from the dawn of the interblag.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-14 5:08

You are kidding arent you ?
Are you saying that this linux can run on a computer without windows underneath it, at all ? As in, without a boot disk, without any drivers, and without any services ?

That sounds preposterous to me.

If it were true (and I doubt it), then companies would be selling computers without a windows. This clearly is not happening, so there must be some error in your calculations. I hope you realise that windows is more than just Office ? Its a whole system that runs the computer from start to finish, and that is a very difficult thing to acheive. A lot of people dont realise this.

Microsoft just spent $9 billion and many years to create Vista, so it does not sound reasonable that some new alternative could just snap into existence overnight like that. It would take billions of dollars and a massive effort to achieve. IBM tried, and spent a huge amount of money developing OS/2 but could never keep up with Windows. Apple tried to create their own system for years, but finally gave up recently and moved to Intel and Microsoft.

Its just not possible that a freeware like the Linux could be extended to the point where it runs the entire computer fron start to finish, without using some of the more critical parts of windows. Not possible.

I think you need to re-examine your assumptions.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-14 6:22

>>60
Вы ведь шутите, да?
Вы утверждаете что этот линукс может работать на компьютере без установленной Windows? То есть без загрузочного диска, без драйверов, без всех сервисов?
Это звучит нелепо.
Если бы это было правдой (в чем я сомневаюсь), то компании бы продавали компьютеры без Windows. Чего не происходит, значит в ваши подсчеты закралась ошибка. Я надеюсь вы понимаете, что Windows - это больше чем просто Office? Это целая система, на которой компьютер работает от включения до выключения, и ее очень сложно создать. Большое количество людей не осознают этого простого факта.
Майкрософт потратила 9 миллиардов долларов и много лет стараний на создание Висты, так что не очень похоже что какая-то новая альтернатива могла появиться из неоткуда вот так за ночь. На это потребовались бы миллиарды долларов и огромные усилия большого количества людей. IBM пыталась, и потратила много денег на разработку OS/2, но так и не смогла догнать Windows. Apple много лет пыталась создать свою систему, но наконец сдалась и недавно перешла на платформу Intel и Microsoft.
Невозможно в принципе, чтобы безсплатная программа, такая как линукс, была бы расширена до такой степени, чтобы на ней работал компьютер от начала и до конца, не пользуя некоторые критически важные части Windows. Невозможно.
Я думаю вам следует пересмотреть свои убеждения.

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-14 8:21

>>60
delicious copypasta

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-14 11:40

Ubuntu is great, and secure. But I'm on XP pro atm, for the following reasons:
1) programming. Everyone expects programs to be in windows. Also php works better on windows, theres no endless .conf files to edit
2) games. Everyone plays games
3) its just a little bit faster with gui than ubuntu. windows open up instantly.
However i do duel boot. ubuntu is great for music and ipod things. My friend put ubuntu on his parents computer, and because they are noobs they love it. no virus scanners or firewalls to fork out for.
(I think this guy is serious)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!
you think your tough huh?
one word THE FORCED INDENTATION OF CODE.
i have taken out two mission critical applications at the same time in less than 5 seconds i have been training for 3 years.
also enterprise grade best practices.
your compiler might be bigger than me,but i know mine is smarter and quicker.
my compiler is 130 kb pure lean code.
one keystroke and i'll overflow your buffers.
your the one whose a nerd.i can optimize CFLAGS anytime i want you probably haven't ever touched CFLAGS before.
you probably have sex with your computer.
you don't even know me,and you don't want to.
you'll be lucky if your even worth my attention one look at my code and you'll dissappear forever.
though i'd be hapy to humiliate you in front of all your friends.
btw IM the expertest.
i have worked in maine, new hampshire, new york,utah, colorado,florida,bahamas.
never indented my code!
im undefeated in competitive obfuscation of code.
im on my way to IOCCC.
go ahead and come step anytime you want.b*tch

If you mess with /prog/, you mess with nerds,
 if you mess with nerds, you mess
  withGJS
   himself.
    if u wanna batl
     lets do it)
      well crush u like a bean
bitch)))


You should have used Ubuntu instead.

ve used Ubuntu ins

Ubuntu

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888     888 888 "88b
888     888 888  888
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​ "Y88S88P"  88888P"

888888888888                    888888888888
YYYY88888888bbbb....    ....dddd88888888PPPP
YYYY88888888bbbb....    ....dddd88888888PPPP
YYYY88888888bbbb....    ....dddd88888888PPPP
YYYY88888888bbbb....    ....dddd88888888PPPP
    """"YYYY888888888
I 88888888PPPP""""
    """"YYYY8888888
Can't 888888PPPP""""
    """"YYYY88888
Configure 8888PPPP""""
    """"YYYY888888
Debian 888888PPPP""""


That was EXPERT PROGRAMMER quality!
I am the 1/0 of my GET.
LISP is my body, and SICP is my blood.
I have created over 999 HUGE programs that you couldn't even comprehend.
Unaware of Python.
Nor aware of Ruby on rails.
Withstood the forced indentation of the code to create many touring-complete programs.
Waiting for an EXPERT PROGRAMMER's arrival.
I have no regrets, this was the only path.
My whole life was /prog/.

Please, stop impersonating me. Although it is flattering to have ``impersonators'', in fact, it is a very bad idea. I am pleased to talk with you all about matters of science. But please, get rid of the `cult of personality' way of thinking. It is unscientific and ultimately destructive.

It's quite possibly one of the saddest forms of abuse. Not physical, not emotional, but chemical. Yes, I'm talking about people whose mothers abused them with drugs and alcohol when they were small or even unborn children.
Did your mother switch from cheap beer to hard liquor when she found out she was pregnant with you? When you were deeply disturbed by the ending of Return of the Jedi when you were 3 years old, did she let you hit her joint and think it was funny when you choked on the weed smoke? Did your mother, when you were 4 years old, let you snort some lines off her "magic mirror" after you caught her doing the same, and get mad when you became hyper for some reason shortly thereafter?
If so, you should visit http://dis.4chan.org/prog/ Here you can share your stories of your strung-out mother and her attempts to poison you with her narcotics. It's not funny, and it's not cute. It's abuse. And it hurts.

This may sound odd, but I think my dog is Gerald Jay Sussman.  It all started when I came home from work one day to find my computer with Emacs running with lisp.  Odd because I turn my computer off when I leave for work.  The next I came home, my computer was off, but my dog was on my couch reading SICP.  I swear, he was lying there with the book open.  I don't even own a copy.  I took it from him and he tried to bite me.  A few days later, I got a letter in my mail sent to Gerald Jay Sussman.  Some university wanting him to teach a class on lisp.  Another strange thing, is that when he barks, it almost sounds like he's yelling 'cudder' for some odd reason.  He also somehow burned a CD with 'We conjure the spirits of the computer with our spells' song.  When ever I have to take him in the car he has to play it.  Can someone help me?

Name: Anonymous 2008-08-14 17:58

Please, stop impersonating me. Although it is flattering to have ``impersonators'', in fact, it is a very bad idea. I am pleased to talk with you all about matters of science. But please, get rid of the `cult of personality' way of thinking. It is unscientific and ultimately destructive.

This was not what the email said.

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-27 17:54

>>65
Why is not there

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-27 21:39

>>65 Name: MDickie!HOXIp0gGW6 : 2009-12-27 15:23
 Please continue with your "cult of personality" way of thinking; it's inspiring and ultimately constructive.

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-28 2:07

>>66
now that was delicious necromacy
LISP есть Тело Мое, и SICP моя кровь.

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-28 6:37

I knew this was some sort of pasta, but ive never seen it before. all i had to do was copy this sentence:

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I > do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies.

and paste it in google. To my  delight, i found a few websites with the same pasta, most of them coming from runescape forums. In conclusion, OP is indeed a faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-28 6:43

>>69
>OP is indeed a faggot
i believe he's dead already, so you better not criticise him.

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-28 7:46

>>70
Why don't you abide by this rule when talking about Haskell?

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-28 10:39

>>71
I don't remember anyone criticising that dog

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-27 1:32

Name: Sgt.Kabu훛ᒲkimanݟﳟ 2012-05-28 20:49

Bringing /prog/ back to its people
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

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