Return Styles: Pseud0ch, Terminal, Valhalla, NES, Geocities, Blue Moon. Entire thread

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?

Name: Anonymous 2006-11-11 19:26

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.
There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.
If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

6. Does your son use Quake?
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature.
Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself.

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

Name: Anonymous 2006-11-11 20:00

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
Oh boy. This one made me laugh.

Almost all of the books you listed have NOTHING TO DO WITH LEARNING TO "HACK." "Cyptonomicon" is a genuinely fascinating look at data encryption, and blends fact with a fictitious story. "Programming with PERL?" PERL is a powerful data extraction language used on machines worldwide. It is incredibly powerful for a wide range of data manipulation tasks. I would be PROUD of my child trying to master this language!

The ignorance you display here is astounding, and the fact that you suggest parents lobby to have such books removed from shelves is the most outrageous and idiotic thing I have read in your article yet.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
YOU... ARE... A... FUCKING... IDIOT.

I spend upwards of 8 hours on my computer each day; much of this time involves my school studies, and much of it is spent communicating with my peers online and learning.

Suggesting your child is attempting to execute a Denial of Service (DOS) attack because they're spending too much time on the computer is the most illogical leap of reason I HAVE EVER HEARD. You should be ASHAMED. That's like assuming your child is planning to use his new iceskates to slit the throat of a 7-11 clerk. Get a clue!

6. Does your son use Quake?
"Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms." Wrong again, you moron! Quake is a GAME. Granted, Quake is a violent game, and I do not believe it is suitable for young children... but it is far from a "training ground" for hackers!

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
One word: TEENAGERS.

(And of course he's going to be surly and argumentative in his behaviour if you try and approach him with the bullshit in this article! If you're going to approach him, at least be properly informed first!)

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
It's spelled "Linux," you stupid fucking dolt.

Your total lack of research surfaces here (again). LINUX was invented by a FINNISH (not Soviet) man named LINUS TRAVOLDS (not Linyos Torovoltos) in 1991.

"Lunix" is meant for older 8-bit processors, not the machines we use today. If you had VISITED THE LINK YOU MADE, you would KNOW THIS!

Linux is also stable, free, and extremely powerful to those who know how to use it properly. It can save you time and money, and is arguably one of the best operating systems out there. If your son or daughter was able to even INSTALL it successfully, they are capable of greater things. You should encourage this exploration, not hide away in fear!

"These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers." Uhh... what programs? Linux? Linux is an operating system, dumbass.

"They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program." That's INSANELY FUCKING MORONIC. You can't connect to a stereo to steal music! You don't even know what an MP3 is, do you?

DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH.

MPEG Layer 3 (MP3) files are a way of storing music on a computer without taking up too much hard disk space. "MP3" is not a program... it is the set of rules and standards that define the creation and playback of MP3s.

Have you ever even used a computer?

PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS.

If your child is being challenged and engaged by his academics, he will put effort into it. He doesn't need your paranoia and misguided rantings... especially based on this non-article.

Electromagnetic radiation from monitors will not cause meningitis any more than watching TV, talking on your cell phone or listening to your hi-fi stereo will.

Yes, spending too much time on the computer could lead to an unhealthy lifestyle... but understand that this does not make computers evil or unhealthy. They might be the most powerful tool you have access to, and anyone who understands how to use them to their fullest extent will do very well for themselves in a computing career.

All things in moderation.

---

As someone who is training to make his living in technology, and someone who has had computers around all his life, I am disgusted and appalled by the quality of this article. It is, quite literally, a work of fiction.

Next time you write an article, you need to read up on your subject first so you don't:
1) misinform parents
2) make a total ass out of yourself

That being said, I would be more than happy to help you out with future articles.

furious_wombat@hotmail.com
Student of Network Engineering
Proud to be [H]

Newer Posts
Don't change these.
Name: Email:
Entire Thread Thread List