turing

var answer:string

put "anyone know how to program in turing, or even heard of it?"
get answer
if answer="yes" then
put "when and where did you learn it/hear about it"
else
put "yes i know i am very lame..."

Translation of >>1:
I was forced to learn an effectively-dead language which doesn't even have an open or free compiler available anywhere.

I really wish I had learned Lisp or Ocaml instead, or at least I would if I wasn't lame.