Closet Conservative here.

Look. I'm against high taxes as much as the next guy. I like my health insurance. I'm a Christian. I vote Republican.

But you know what I'm NOT? A fucking Tea Bagger. It's because of them that I'm in the closet about being a conservative nowadays, because they embarrass the fuck out of me and make all conservatives look like batshit insane psedu-revolutionary jingoists.

The birther shit is crazy. No, I don't like Obama. Yes, I'm pissed he got elected. But I'm not retarded enough to suggest that he's not born in the United States, because the election committee, the SCOTUS, and Congress would have known if he wasn't a U.S. Citizen, and it would be the biggest conspiracy ever just to get a black guy in the White House. The fact that you people actually take this shit seriously and tout it in public only serves to make conservatives, including myself, look like paranoid fucktards.

What's worse is this "revolution" bullshit. Okay, we lost an election. I know, it sucks. But to go around saying you're going to shoot up the White House and Congress if you lose ANOTHER election? What the fuck is this, the 1800s? For one thing, what do you and your coon-huntin' rifle plan to do against tanks, helicopters, and drones? For another, do you really want to make us look THAT fucking insane? This is America, and it's the 21st century. A bunch of rednecks with Glocks aren't going to take down the U.S. Army.

And the Creationists, holy fuck. It's not bad enough to deny evolution despite all of the scientific evidence that supports it (which is about as dumb as denying the Holocaust), but then to demand we teach it in school? Yeah, I'm a Christian too. But come on.

TL;DR I'm a closet conservative because teabaggers are fucking insane and I don't want to be associated with them.

 I am also a conservative and have voted for conservative policies for decades. I am tired of how the name itself has been hijacked and is now synonymous with useless social issues and religion. I dont mind the social issues being debated when its constructive to do so, but they are being used as shields and badges and are trotted out again and again while real and tangible issues never see the light of day.

I do not even see real conservative agendas being promoted on a federal level, not at all. Just bullshit song and dance wedge issues, and finger pointing.

It is a shame. The Republican party once just wanted to steal the evangelicals, but to keep them they had to gut the party and now it is useless.

Even op, who is trying to explain that he is a rational moderate adds in "I'm christian" to identify himself as a conservative...when that has absolutely nothing to do with anything, it is simply an association drummed into our heads by those with no real ideas or aptitude...it is marketing, and that is what the Republican party has become. Everything they say and do is about strengthening the brand, not our country.

And of course the Democrats are too unorginized and busy watching their own polls to force the Republicans to step up to the plate, which may often be a blessing since it means that they are also unable to pass their agendas.

We just had a round of elections in which I was booed at town hall meetings for asking things such as "what will you specifically cut please?" simply because I dared to question the party line. And these people are supposed to be conservatives?

And then they had a group prayer. I am not even kidding.