How many Conservatives does it take...

...to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They all agree they don't like the dark, but they're too afraid of what might happen if light were to enter the room.

Conservatives would set up a lettuce plantation and import dirty mexicans even though they will infect the crop with tuberculosis. They would sell the lettuce to taco bell and use the money to buy an official light bulb and pay a negro to install it for them.