The Ruler of the Universe...

... is a man living in a small shack on a world that can only be reached with the use of an Infinite Improbability Drive. He does not want to rule the universe and tries not to whenever possible, and therefore is by far the ideal candidate for the job. He has an odd, solipsistic view of reality: he lives alone with his cat, which he has named 'The Lord' even though he is not certain of its existence. He has a very dim view of the past, and he only believes in what he sees with his eyes and ears (and doesn't seem too certain of that, either): anything else is hearsay, so when executive-types visit to ask him what he thinks about certain matters, such as wars and the like, he tells them how he feels without considering consequences. As part of his refusal to acccept that anything is true, or simply as another oddity, he even talked to his table for a week to see how it would react. He does sometimes admit that some things may be more likely than others – e.g. that he might like a glass of whiskey, which the visitors leave for him...

So any problems you might have with any current administration is purely the product of a deranged imagination.

Xel, you ignorant prick.

You might be talking about me, you might not, but the only thing i saw is a proof of dyslexia.

>>2 Sorry, but >>1 is not me.

And yes. I have sucked a black cock.

Your credentials as a liberal are beyond reproach.

i can't beleive it. No one recognizes this? it's describing a character in the book series The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

wtf is this stuff about Xel and liberal credentials?

>>7
Xel clearly stated >>3 and >>4.

>>7 Basically, they not like me, I not care. I consider 'liberal' to be an acceptable moniker (although I am a moderate libertarian, moderate because I prioritize social freedom over financial freedom if I have to) considering the other option would be 'conservative' - I'd rather rape my father and eat his eyelids than allow conservatists to govern my friends and family.
>>5 Remeber kids: only the coolest, most admirable libertarians consider homosexuality and interracial relationships to be intrinsically bad.
>>6 Considering I don't have socialist tendencies to go with my liberal values I would consider that a compliment. Fail at troll, as usual.