Musical theme: We got mud and sand, someone deliver us!
-God delievers them a pizza.
Dialogue:
Little girl: Hey mom, can I carry the baby to the temple?
Mom: Hell no! Let's toss him to the crocodiles instead!
-Egyptians find a baby cuter than Ramseys.
-Egyptians abuse/ignore baby Ramseys for the rest of the story.
Action scene:
[God's only weakness see Judges 1:19]
-Gets introduced to a lady who likes Moses.
Moses does stuff:
-bumps into suicidal terrorist.
-gets naked and runs into the desert.
-passes out from heat stroke.
-gets owned by a camel.
-Lady who likes Moses appears from nowhere and throws Joseph down a well [he survives].
-Ramseys remembers childhood abuse and decides to play ping pong song with Moses instead.
Ping pong song:
Let go?
No!
Let go?
No!
Let go?
No!
[Zoom into Heart who screams] You make me so hard!!!!!
[This is biblically accurate, someone hardened his heart]
-Moses levels up!
-Jews visit seaworld and see a whale [according to the movie].
-God moons Moses [Exodus 33:17 to 23]
Moses: Hey God, what's with these thin bricks?
-Ok guys, have have 42 commandments, oops!
*Tablets are shattered at the feet of a cow statue*
-Uh God, the strangest thing happened.
God : Here, it's abridged to 10 now.
Don't break them this time!
God: On second thought, you can't go to the promised land. [Exodus 17:6] [Numbers 20:11-12]
Moses: What? So you lied? Deuteronomy 34:1
God: Yeah, pretty much. HEY LOOK! GIANTS!
Moses dies under a Giant Foot [Creative license], the end.
Name:
Anonymous2013-10-21 18:14
>be religious amerifat
>work hard, pay taxes, give to charity
>squeeze my enormous bulk out my basement despite strain to my heart
>go to the cinema theators
>drive even though it's only five minutes away
>get shot dead by insane gun-man who believes I am a terrorist.
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>go to London
>got hungry after walking around
>approach a street vendor for a hot dog
>"Ah wuh?"
>point to the sign
>"Ooohhh! A rolly meat tubey in a joined bready paddie, right up!"
>eat it, tastes delicious
>walk further and start getting stomach pains
>stop beside a street performer
>he finishes his performance
>everyone starts clapping except me
>police show up and ask me why I wasn't clapping
>say they're going to have to arrest me
>i pull out a paper clip
>"Ihs goh a clipity clappy paper holdie!"
>They panic and retreat into their conical hats like slugs into their shell
>I evade capture
Always clap while in Britain, seriously.
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