This is why you can't get laid

http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/22/16-and-pregnant-tuned-in-teens-are-turned-off-by-teen-pregnancy/

My ex-girlfriend decided to become a lesbian because she never wants to end up pregnant.

Meanwhile, terrorists breed freely in America. FML.

What is in the safe?
http://i.imgur.com/cPWlsp3.jpg