Metal Sucks

Is it just me or is metal is shittyest genre of music ever. I listen to all sorts of music. Alt/Trance/Reggae/Jam Bands/Fol, But metal is the suck!

Let's break it down

Thrash Metal = Punk for rednecks
Glam Metal = Guys dressing like fucking drag queens
Power Metal = Nerds sing about Dragons And Dungeons and crap
Death Metal = Guys singing like the fucking Cookie Monster
Black Metal = Closet Emos singing about satan
Grindcore = Can you even call this fucking music

"real" grindcore is actually more punk in my opinion, but these days it seems to just mean shitty death metal (a little redundant, amirite?) with extremely uncreative drumming (ITS ALL BLASTBEATS SO IT MUST BE GRINDCORE RIGHT????)