Name: Anonymous 2012-03-09 8:23
I've just been sorting out boxes of my old stuff from my parents' house. They contained triggers from the past that came whooshing back at me. I'm now fuming from it and will explain why.
It contained old exam transcripts from university and letters sent by multiple people who'd rejected me for jobs or further study, and one job where they'd treated me abysmally due to my body language, leaving me damaged.
It all reeked of mental illness and years of struggling and getting by without support by the skin of my teeth. It makes me think of where I'd be now if I'd been supported just a little, but everyone mostly ignored these blatant signs of struggle. When they didn't, it was mostly to kick me when I was down - parents, employers and tutors - whether intentional or not.
I was neglected and mistreated by those who should've helped: parents and tutors. I was undiagnosed despite displaying severe lifelong symptoms of AvPD, and later developed more conditions (and they still withhold treatment, even after diagnosis and despite me having an official support plan for daily living).
It disgusted me to the extent I couldn't continue and had to vent here. It had me cursing aloud, exclaiming how disgusting it was they left someone to simply disintegrate. I achieved virtual miracles despite this, but nowhere near my potential and not without having my self-confidence ground into the floor.
It contained old exam transcripts from university and letters sent by multiple people who'd rejected me for jobs or further study, and one job where they'd treated me abysmally due to my body language, leaving me damaged.
It all reeked of mental illness and years of struggling and getting by without support by the skin of my teeth. It makes me think of where I'd be now if I'd been supported just a little, but everyone mostly ignored these blatant signs of struggle. When they didn't, it was mostly to kick me when I was down - parents, employers and tutors - whether intentional or not.
I was neglected and mistreated by those who should've helped: parents and tutors. I was undiagnosed despite displaying severe lifelong symptoms of AvPD, and later developed more conditions (and they still withhold treatment, even after diagnosis and despite me having an official support plan for daily living).
It disgusted me to the extent I couldn't continue and had to vent here. It had me cursing aloud, exclaiming how disgusting it was they left someone to simply disintegrate. I achieved virtual miracles despite this, but nowhere near my potential and not without having my self-confidence ground into the floor.