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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 8:59

Brb, going to le supermarché to buy 150gr of smoked horse meat.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 9:11

>>1
supermarché
No hablo Español, Señorita.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 13:14

My two-year-old nephew is obsessed with horses. The problem is that he is a boy. For some reason horses are now considered `girly', despite being functional and ugly animals who were used by the knights and cowboys of old.

Will my nephew grow up to be a homosexual, /lounge/?

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 14:42

>>3
Only if he's lucky.  Otherwise, he'll be begging his parents to get a doctor to give him hormone shots and chop his dong and balls off.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 14:49

>>4
Gee, horses sure do have it rough nowadays.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 14:54

>>3
Just keep him away from the horses.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 14:58

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 15:21

♪ I LIKE HORSES, THEY'RE MY FRIENDS! ♪

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 17:42

frendship and magic

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 17:42

a

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 23:56

I'm so horny I could fuck a horse.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-06 23:58

I knew a horse once

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-07 9:01

A blonde is overweight so her doctor put her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days," he tells her. "Then skip a day and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly four stone. "Why that's amazing," the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger you mean?" Asks the doctor.
"No," replies the blonde, "from skipping."

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-07 9:26

Fucking horses need to fucking die!

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-07 10:08

I so hungry I could fuck a horse.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-07 12:05

I'm so horsey I could eat a Hun.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-07 12:26

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-11 20:38

     Mary Kate and Ashley were so happy. The only thing they had
wanted for their birthday was a horse and they had gotten their
wish.  Their parents had given them a bunch of small presents, and
the last one they opened had been 2 videos entitled, "How to Ride
a Horse" and "How to Care for your Horse".

     When their parents originally heard Mary Kate and Ashley's
request for a horse, they groaned.  They figured that it would be
a huge initial expense, plus food expenses, and if their annoying
famous little daughters didn't take care of the horse they would
have to hire someone to take care of it for them.  All they saw
were dollar signs flying out the window.

     It wasn't that the Olsen twins' parents hated to spend money.
They loved it.  All they did was sit on their reclining Italian
leather vibro-massage chairs watching their 54 inch flat screen
active matrix LCD screen supplied by 5 satellite dishes on top of
the roof of their mansion estate while being constantly supplied
with food and drink from the servants.  They had discussed having
catheters and colostomy bags so they would never have to leave
their chairs, but had decided that was too decadent.

     No, they didn't mind spending money.  They just minded
spending it on their 2 annoying little brats.  Still, they had to
keep the tykes happy so the money train would keep on rolling.  So
the parents had decided to get them a horse.  At least they had
saved money on the initial purchase of the horse.  Despite the
entreaties of the lady at the stable to get their daughters a
gelding or at least a neutered mare because of their more docile
dispositions, the parents had purchased an aging stallion.

******************************************************************

     Mary Kate and Ashley had taken turns riding the horse and
having their pictures taken on their birthday morning, but their
parents had soon returned to their TV and chairs, and the twins,
having watched the videotapes, were left to care for the horse.
They were eager to show themselves responsible, so they first
brushed the horse's back and sides and then started washing the
horse.

     When they started washing the horse's stomach, they couldn't
ignore his penis.

     "Do you think we should wash his penis?" asked Mary Kate.
Both of them had been well educated about penises since the age of
5, having been taught by leftist Hollywood tutors.  Still, they
had never seen one in the flesh before.

     "Well, the video said to wash the horse thoroughly, and it
didn't say NOT to wash his penis," said Ashley coyly.  Secretly,
they were both tingling between their 12-year-old legs at the
thought of touching a real penis, even if it was a horse's.

     "Our tutor said that penises are very delicate.  Do you think
we should take our brush-mitts off to wash it?" asked Mary Kate.

     "I think you're right," said Ashley as she shook the brush-
mitts off of her hands.  Mary Kate followed suit.

     "You touch it first," said Mary Kate, by her words
unwittingly stating the fact that they both knew that this would
be a milestone sexual event in their lives.

     Ashley was a little bit hesitant, but she took a deep breath,
plunged her hands into the bucket of thick sudsy wash solution,
grabbed the horse's 10-inch penis sheath and started trying to
lather it up.  She tried to pretend that there was nothing sexual
about this moment, that she was just doing what had to be done to
care for a horse, but she felt the horse's penis pulsing and
growing in her hand.  Then she saw the smooth pink shaft, with
mottled gray spots, protruding from the hairy sheath that she was
massaging.  She stopped rubbing and watched it grow an inch every
time she felt it pulse in her hand.  In a few seconds, it was
almost 2 feet long.  Ashley had never been so horny in her life.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-11 20:39

     "I think he has an erection," said Mary Kate, who was
appalled yet strangely, fascinated.  "Do you think you should wash
the pink part?"

     Ashley shook her head to clear her mind of the filthy
fantasies she was having, unclenched her legs and toes and said,
"We have to wash all of him, don't we?"  She tentatively touched
the throbbing pink part.  Up until now she had been able to
convince herself that she was washing an animal, but the softness,
warmness, smoothness and lack of hair on what she was touching now
dispelled that illusion.  She was touching a huge erect throbbing
2-foot-long penis.  She gasped at the realization then melted into
pure sexual abandon.

     "Help me wash it Mary Kate," gasped Ashley, as she used both
hands to barely encircle and rub the girth of the horse's penis.

     Mary Kate was hornier than she had ever been.  She was so
turned on by the sight of her twin sister masturbating a horse's
penis.  She reached out and touched the huge penis.  It felt so
soft and smooth and warm.  Her legs started involuntarily opening
and closing.

     "You wash the bottom of the pink part, and I'll wash the
end," said Ashley.  They both took their assigned parts in their
half of horse masturbation silently, breathing heavily through
their mouths in never before experienced sexual abandon.  They
knew about ejaculation, and both wanted to see this horse
ejaculate.

     They were soon rewarded.  The aging stallion started swaying
backward and forward mildly and started ejaculating into Ashley's
hands that were cupped over the top of his penis while she rubbed
him.

     "Oh my god," said Ashley, "he's having an orgasm."  She tried
to catch all of the horse semen in her cupped hands, but there was
so much of it spurting with a furious force that it splashed out
onto her arms and quickly overran her cupped hands.  It felt so
warm dripping through her hands and on her arms that she came
closer to having an orgasm than she had ever had.

     After the horse was spent, she took her cupped hands full of
horse semen and held it up to her nose to smell it.  It had a musk
smell that her subconscious recognized as sex.  She felt a twinge
in her 12-year-old virgin pussy, and looked down to see her white
shorts soaked between her crotch.  She thought that some of the
horse semen had splashed between her legs.  She was partially
right, but she didn't realize that most of the wetness was due to
her own virginal pre-orgasmic preteen juices.

     "Smell it, Mary Kate.  It smells good," moaned Ashley as she
offered her cupped hands full of horse semen to her twin sister.

     Mary Kate was horny too.  She smelled the proffered horse
semen and felt lightheaded.  She was turned on, but at the same
time she was somewhat repulsed by what they had just done.  Her
head was spinning, and she felt like she might have trouble
walking, but she felt she had to go back to her room and lie down.

     "That was gross," said Mary Kate, as she stood up feeling
woozy.  "I'm going back to the house to wash my hands.  I hope you
and your new boyfriend are very happy together," she said,
sticking her tongue out at Ashley before turning and stumbling
towards the house.

******************************************************************

     Ashley watched her sister stumble off towards the house,
looked down at her cupped hands full of 5 or 6 ounces of horse
semen, smelled the heady aroma, and considered tasting it.  And
maybe even doing more...

******************************************************************

If you like this story, and want to see the next part and/or "THE
OLSEN TWINS GET GANG RAPED BY GENETICALLY ALTERED WOLVES", let me
know in this thread!

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-11 20:42

Thank you Internet for making things like this exist.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 1:09

>>19
I'd would like the pony to be permitting inside.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 1:27

I'm so hungry I could eat some dubs

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 3:56

>>19
Ugh, somehow I want to read more.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 4:34

Please can i have some oar

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 5:08

When you eat a horse, eventually you'll have to consume the penis.

You eat horsecock.

Name: QWERTY 2012-03-12 5:14

>>25
Love da cock, love da horsecock, want more cock? cock?

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 7:47

Apu D'bomarché

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 21:22

>>23

******************************************************************

                        SATAN RAPES THE OLSEN TWINS

******************************************************************

     Mary Kate and Ashley, the Olsen twins, were both so excited.
They had just turned 12 and they were being allowed to stay by
themselves for the first time in their lives, if you can call
having a married maid/cook and butler living in a guesthouse at
the rear of the grounds "alone".  But still, this was their first
night without their parents or a "Nanny" or anyone else in their
mansion.

     "What should we do to celebrate?" asked Mary Kate moments
after they heard their parents' car drive off.

     "I'm going to take a shower and run around the house naked!"
said Ashley, her budding sexuality expressing itself from inside
her subconscious.  She was the most popular girl in school, and
although all the boys wanted her, she only dated them to retain
her popularity.  She thought that boys were gross, and all she
would do was kiss them even though it made her want to vomit.  She
felt much more comfortable with her girlfriends, and liked to
cuddle with them, and even exchange clothes with them in the
bathroom of the Baldridge Academy for Girls.

     "Why do you always run around the house naked?" asked Mary
Kate.

     "Oh you shut up," said Ashley, "You're just jealous because
my tits are bigger than yours.  With that pronouncement, Ashley
turned and marched up the stairs to her shower.

     It was true that Ashley had bigger tits than Mary Kate.  Mary
Kate's athleticism had retarded her growth ever so slightly.  Her
leaner body had less fat to contribute to breast growth, so her
breasts were only barely visible.  But her nipples had been
growing wider, becoming the size of a nickel instead of the dime
size that they used to be, and they had been getting sensitive and
stuck out noticeably most of the time from the tee-shirts she
liked to wear. She had started to massage them secretly.

     Ashley on the other hand had breasts the size of small lemons
and was very proud of them.  Neither of them had experienced their
menses yet, although unbeknownst to Ashley she was 2 weeks away
from her first period, a period she was never to experience after
the events of this night.

     "Phppt", snorted Mary Kate, although secretly she wished her
breasts would grow so the boys would like her.  All the cutest
boys went for her sister instead of her.

     She looked in the TV Guide for a movie starring Brad Pitt.
She was in luck!  "A River Runs Through It" was on.

"Damn," she thought, "It's only PG.  But at least it's Brad."

She sighed and cuddled up on the couch watching Brad Pitt.

******************************************************************

     Satan pulled up in front of the Olsen estate in his Ferrari,
parked and got out of the car.  He had transformed himself into an
amalgam of every man and boy that Mary Kate was currently
fantasizing about when she clutched her overstuffed goose down
pillow to her face and body, and kissed it.
    
     He knocked on the door and waited while the now completely
alone Mary Kate debated whether or not to answer it.  He knew she
would, as he knew everything that would happen that night, and
beyond.

******************************************************************

     Mary Kate heard the knock on the door and it startled her.
She felt guilty.  She had been lying on her stomach and rubbing
herself against the couch while watching Brad Pitt.  She didn't
really understand why, but it felt good to rub her crotch against
things.  She had heard about orgasms, but had never had one, and
thought that a boy had to put his wiener in you to have an orgasm.

     She got up and looked through the small 2-way mirror in the
door.

     "Oh my God!" she thought, for there in front of her door was
the perfect combination of Brad Pitt, Hugh Grant and Ricky Martin!
She opened the door to get a better look.  A man that gorgeous had
to be a good man.

     "Hi," she said, crossing and squirming her legs
unconsciously.

******************************************************************

     "Hello", said Satan in his best Hugh Grant imitation, but
without the annoying stutter, "My Ferrari seems to have broken
down.  I was wondering if I could use your phone to call the Auto-
Club?"

     Mary Kate peered around him and sure enough, there in front
of their mansion was a Ferrari.  That clinched it.  This man was
not only beautiful, but he was rich, he was obviously of their
class, and she was spellbound by his beauty.

     "Sure." she said, "Come in."

     Satan entered the Olsen Mansion and after being directed to a
phone, pretended to make a call.

     "Oh dear.  They said it will take 45 minutes to an hour to
get here.  Would it be possible for me to wait here?  I'll
understand if you say no, me being a stranger and all."

     Mary Kate had been daydreaming about kissing this man and had
to shake her head to remember what he had just asked her.

     "Sure.  You can wait here.  Have a seat and watch TV," she
said before skipping over to and plopping on the couch with her
legs slightly spread.

     Satan sat down on the couch inches away from her.

     They were both disturbed by a galloping sound.  It was Ashley
running down the stairs and through the room naked.

     "Woo hoo!" cried Ashley as she trotted through the room
naked.  She struck a pose with fists against the side of her
midriff and her hips stuck out to her right side.  Then she saw
Satan on the couch right next to her Sister.  She tried to cover
her small breasts with one arm and her hairless pussy with the
other.

     "What the." screamed Ashley.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 21:22

     Satan had known all along that this little lesbian Lolita
would be trouble, so he immediately silenced her and willed her to
sit down.  He didn't like the distraction of having to control
minds and bodies, but it was necessary, and she would pay in the
end, the dirty little bitch.
    
     He turned to Mary Kate and said, "Maybe I should give her my
shirt to wear."

     Mary Kate clenched her legs and clenched Satan and said,
"Yes, give her your shirt."
    
     Satan draped his shirt around the immobile seated Ashley and
sat down next to Mary Kate, putting his arm around her.  Mary Kate
melted into his bare upper body.
    
     "Oh dear," he said, "I can still see her naughty bits, maybe
I should put my pants over her so she can have some privacy."
    
     "Yes," said Mary Kate, who wanted to see him in his underwear
although her 12-year-old mind didn't completely know why.

     Satan removed his shoes and socks then stood and turned
towards Mary Kate, unzipped his pants exposing his erect throbbing
penis.  He had chosen to make it look like a 5-inch long hotdog so
he wouldn't frighten her.  He quickly draped his pants over Ashley
and sat down naked beside Mary Kate.

******************************************************************

     Mary Kate was so turned on.  She didn't even really know what
was happening to her, but when she saw her dream man sit down
naked with his wiener sticking up right next to her, she couldn't
help but stare at it.

     Satan put his arm around Mary Kate and gently kissed her.
Before he raped Ashley, he was going to show her what she could
have but never would have, by pleasing Mary Kate in front of her
in a way that Ashley would never know.

     Mary Kate went limp when Satan kissed her.  Her 12-year-old
heart pounded and she felt like she was in a dream.  Her lips
parted, and Satan's tongue was flicking at her teeth.  She had
never kissed a boy, and here she was kissing a naked man who she
didn't even know.  But he was so pretty and she was sure this was
love.

     She felt his hand rubbing her between her legs through her
tattered gym shorts.  She started bucking her hips towards the
palm of his hand, which was cupping and giving her vulva warmth.
She started to have the first orgasm of her life.  Her jaw went
slack, and Satan's tongue entered her mouth as she spasmed and
convulsed and then became completely limp.  She felt herself being
stripped naked and was happy because she wanted to be naked with
this beautiful naked man.

******************************************************************

     As soon as Mary Kate had her first orgasm and was in a
complete state of relaxation, Satan summoned 6 demons to hold
Ashley.  Four to hold her legs and arms, one to hold her head and
mouth, and one to hold her eyelids open so she would witness her
sister being raped.

******************************************************************

     "He's going to rape my sister," thought Ashley, as she
watched Satan kiss and give Mary Kate her first orgasm.  She had
long since had her first orgasm while watching Anna Kournikova
play tennis.
    
     She wanted to scream and run to the phone, but she couldn't
move a muscle.  She watched as the man started to strip Mary Kate
naked
    
     She couldn't understand why she couldn't move.  She wanted to
kill the man, but she couldn't even blink her eyes.  She hated the
man even more because she and Mary Kate were identical twins.
Seeing her sister naked was turning her on because it was like
looking in the mirror when she played with herself, which she did
frequently.  She had fantasized about seducing her sister Mary
Kate and had been planning to try to seduce her that night, but
this asshole man was seducing her sister right in front of her.
    
     "And why can't I move?"  Ashley started mentally freaking
out.  "Who is this man?"
    
     Suddenly she felt her arms, hands and head being grabbed, she
looked down just in time to see hideous demons grabbing her,
before her head was grabbed, and her eyelids were spread open so
she was forced to watch Mary Kate getting fucked.
    
     "Oh no," Ashley tried to scream through the thick, hideous
demon hand that was covering her mouth, "That's no man!  It looks
like the devil!

******************************************************************

     Satan stretched the naked semi-conscious Mary Kate out on the
couch.  He lowered himself onto her.  He entered her virgin pussy.

     Satan was enjoying this.  Demons had relieved him of his mind-
control duty on Ashley and he only had to keep the front side of
his body in human form, to keep Mary Kate from discovering the
truth.

******************************************************************

     Mary Kate regained alertness as she was being entered just
long enough to look into the beautiful man's face and say, "I love
you."  Satan smiled while expanding his penis size so that she
knew that she was being fucked.  He filled her as full as would be
comfortable for this virgin girl and then rammed her like his dick
was a piston while sticking his tongue in her mouth.

     He knew that Mary Kate would never open her eyes while he had
his tongue in her mouth and his penis in her vagina.  It was part
of the Junior High School ethos; you never open your eyes while
being kissed.
    
     After a few thrusts, Satan knew that Mary Kate was going to
have the second orgasm of her life, the first with a penis inside
of her, so he ejaculated a pint of his warm torrent inside of her.

******************************************************************

     Mary Kate felt herself being filled by wave after wave of
warmth.  She felt like her head was exploding as she had the
biggest orgasm that she would ever have in her life.

     In the middle of her orgasm, the beautiful man's tongue
suddenly felt like leather in her mouth.  In fact, every part
of his body that was touching her felt like a lobster shell.
What was happening?

     She opened her eyes in the middle of this massive orgasm
inside her virgin pussy to see the shiny crimson red horned face
of Satan!
    
     Her body continued its involuntary spasming and convulsing
while Satan's tongue flicked inside her mouth like a lizard's
tail, thwarting her attempts to scream.
    
     She realized at that moment that it was Satan who was fucking
her!  She screamed a scream of terror such as no one has have ever
screamed, and passed out from the horror.

******************************************************************

     Satan withdrew from Mary Kate immediately after she passed
out.  He turned towards Ashley, and expanding his penis to a
frightening size said, "Now it's your turn, lesbian bitch!"

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 22:39

>>29
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to read still more.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 22:42

>>30
That way lies madness, never click on the (Post truncated.) bits.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-12 23:40

If you're Satan, why would you stop at a mere pint of your demonseed? Fill her to the brim, I say! Spin her around and aim more of the gushing spend into her mouth, filling her from esophagus to anus with hellishly warm liquid.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-13 1:07

could we please get the horse back in the picture, and in the cooter also

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-13 3:17

horse>satan
Bump for horse

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-13 5:03

I'd like the horse to make a comeback.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-13 5:25

Horse = My huge chocolate colored penis.

OP is a fag.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-13 7:03

>>36
polecat kebabs

Don't change these.
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