Help

I stabbed myself in the hand with an unknown persons insulin pen today.
Now i am worried i have HIV or something hideous like that.

I work in a shop. Some diabetic twat must have dropped his insulin pen and some woman handed it to me (she didn't know what it was, neither did i). It looked identical to the one in the picture. I thought it was a cigar holder. I'm quite partial to a cigar so i was well chuffed this thing had come into my possession. I couldn't wait to get it open. It was like Christmas come early. In my haste and excitement i didn't notice the strange dial on the end or the words "insulin pen" written on the side. I yanked it open like the clumsy cunt i always am and inadvertently, to my horror, plonked my hand right onto the needle hidden within. My mind raced. I imagined breaking the news of my HIV to my father. I knew what he would think when i told him i had HIV. He'd think i was a secret bumder. He wouldn't believe the story about the insulin pen.

Oh god.

How likely is it i have contracted a disease? Do they use fresh needles each time they use these things?

You stab yourself in one hand with insulin yet continue to type with BOTH hands, huh?  It's obvious you're making this up AND you want to fuck me in the anus.

Cut off your arm so as to not get infected.

trick your gay lover to suck the AIDS out