How do I know if it's done?

Okay, I know this is the worst place in the world for advice, but anyway.

No tits, that's why I'm here instead of /b/, duh.

So. I have been in a very intense relationship for the past 9 years. Crazy ups and downs, kid, etc. I am in love. I have put everything that I have into this relationship to make it work. i have been super forgiving, and accommodating and etc. I work, he doesn't. I still come home and clean and cook and etc. And I don't mind it, because I AM in love. And I really want to be with him.

BUT, every while, my dude blows up and just fucking takes my head off. Crushes me, really. More lately... And I just fold 'cause... what's the point. I don't want to fight.
And right now... I really want to take an honest look at everything and decide: am I the only one in love here? Not what I want. If I really bother him THAT much: I don't need the hassle. Am I fighting for something that doesn't exist?
I'm really scared to even think this way, because I don't want it to be true. But I don't want to be lying to myself either.

tl;dr: How do I know if the man I love actually loves me too?

Anyway.  My point, OP, if I had one: 

If it's done, let it be done.  If he's no good for you, walk away.  Walk away before you start to hate him (or worse, hate yourself for putting up with it).  Don't let what was begun in good faith end in the gutter.  You deserve better.