Latvian sewers

You just know there's someone out there with all the facts of Latvian sewers. He probably has a little database full of figures about them and probably thinks it's the peak of importance and interest.

That is true.  Such an expert exists.  Never cross that man.  You will regret it if you did.  The lore of Latvian sewer systems is simply too powerful.

Well you know that Latvians are world renowned for their sewing talents, as evidenced by their detailed stitching on ladies' garments.

>>2
I WILL DESTROY YOUR ANUS *grabs dick*

>>4
*grabs anus*

>>4
Whose dick did you grab at that juncture?  The Latvian expert's dick?  My dick?  Your dick?  Your grandfather's dick?

Dickgrabber's most unusual ability, however, is its ability to apparently materialize plastic dildos out of nowhere. Slow-motion video footage reveals that the dicks in question are actually pulled from a miniature dimensional rift described as a "small hole in space." Where this portal leads is unknown, nor is how Dickgrabber is capable of generating said rifts. Footage of the dicks in question shows them to be made out of a completely non-reflective black material appearing as a "black void in space." As the dicks rapidly vanish after leaving the subject's possession, no structural analysis is possible at this time.

Has this dimensional rift received any further quantization from an array of sensitive instruments deployed for that purpose?