My adventure in McDonaldland

Grimace angrily shakes his fist at my family
"Why have you killed the hamburglar?"
He lay there in a milk-white pile of his own pinkish white fluids
The mayonnaise and ketchup cocktail
He was just a hamburger, I said
"NO!" he screamed "He was a human! THE HAMBURGLAR WAS A HUMAN! MURDERER!"
So lock me away, fools, in time you will tell
Mayor McCheese intends to have me hung
But first, I see his child near the cell door
Snap its neck and eat its swollen beef for sustinence

As I leave a man shaped like a French fry who has not appeared in any promotional advertising for McDonald's tells me I need to stop and furrows his evil singular brow (Unibrow)
I bite into his head but also the disgusting little unibrow is in my teeth and my throat, stuck
I gag
As he continues to scream in horror I dine on his flesh.

The government of McDonaldland should have realized that frozen milkshake jail cell bars were easily consumed
Now free, I threw a hot fudge sundae at a fat kid who thought it was such a magical place
He fell into a river of soda and drowned to death

I found my service revolver laying next to the dead Hamburglar and tasted some of his ketchup blood reminding myself he was human
Scalding hot coffee and apple pies were thrown at me as Ronald approached
He was about 68, with a huge gut, makeup running, holding a picture of a woman
An unrequited love, perhaps
"You took her from me!" he cried "Betrayer!"
His face contorted as he began blowing raspberries in my ear.

I pulled my pistol from the holster and shot him point blank between the eyes
The .34 caliber bullet tore through his supple human flesh and deactivated the pleasure center of his brain
He was gagging into a pile of his own blood as his internal organs slowly oozed from his chest after I shot him again
"DON'T LEAVE ME!" he cried, tears streaming down his face "I feel so cold"
And he was gone.
I looked at the photograph and saw that it was actually the Ham burglar dressed up to look like a female clown

As I attempt to understand why I would do such things, I noticed that this isn't real
Nothing is real
You are just a droplet of ketchup on a French fry floating in space for all eternity
Nothing exists, the imagined world is a cold, calculated dream
And in a moment's notice, we will flicker and be gone.

fascinating.

fisting

never happened