So I got some dumb bitch pregnant

I only fucked her a few times to make my ex jealous, she was five years younger than her.
Funny thing is I've been fucking my ex and it looks like we might get back together as she's deciding that she doesn't want any of those other assholes who aren't going to put up with her kinky fantasies.
What the fuck am I gonna do though? I've got some stupid seventeen year old coke whore pregnant. I always wanted kids, but not with some retarded girl who lies to me about her age, where she lives, whether she has a job, and of course, the kicker, she lied about being on the pill.
Why did it have to be her? Of all the girls I've ever known, all the ones I wanted to keep the kid fucking aborted it and this crazy bitch wants to keep it because she knows I'm not an asshole who will run away.
I'm not going back to her, but what the fuck do I say to the ex I'm getting back with/fucking that I love?
Why am I such a retard. How do I get myself in these situations.

>>1
Damn, Leet, why couldn't you just stay in your /lounge/ chair drinking whiskey and eating pancakes with your pants off?
By now the "crazy, lying bitch" is probably really attached to you, so she's not going to let go of you at all. With her around you're fucked for life. Your ex isn't going to want to deal with this, so I don't think that there's anything you can say when she finds out about it. There's nothing you can do now, but chances are that the "crazy bitch" will leave you in a couple of years (or maybe within the next 10-20 years) and force you to pay child support. You could probably hook up with your ex then, if she doesn't have a family or isn't with some guy.

You could hope for/somehow force a miscarriage, or convince her to commit suicide for early results, and to start a new relationship with your ex.

Also, since the "crazy bitch" seems to lie about so many things, there's a chance that it isn't yours.

>>2
I see you're back. That's good.