HATERS GONNA HATE

wake up with 20 texts from hot girls wishing me a merry christmas
roll on top of Scarlett Johansson who's lying next to me
we fuck
backflip out of bed and into a robe
sprint into the kitchen, do a spinning kick off the wall and crush a burlgar's head who's trying to steal my hot cocoa
drink my cocoa
run into the living room, open presents
forty boxes full of strippers
we all fuck, including Scarlett
dunk my cock into my (at this point lukewarm) cocoa so it's covered in chocolate and whipcream
40 models blow me at once
I blow my load into each mouth at least twice
we all fuck, I blow so hard into each girl that she rockets off my dick
frontflip into my mazeradi and speed off to the town square
stick my head out of the convertible top and scream 'MERRY CHRISTMAS, ASSHOLES!'
all the girls mirin
jump out of the car, start a huge christmas party in the middle of town
all the attractive townsfolk join in
we party all day
I jump into my lamborghini and drive at 400 mph into Scarlett's pussy
we fuck
I cum
'Merry Jizz-mas, baby'
she mirin
alpha as fuck

U mad? U jelly? Come at me bro.

>>1
It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to **** her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari?s have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I?m holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I?m ****ing her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says ?harder.? V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn?t disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home

Just got Crazy Taxi, bitches.

>>1
Wow, you cityfolk sure know how to party. The only party like that I ever had was when my uncle bought 30 sheep.

I was a party today. I pretended I was that girl's brother, then we beat the shit out of two guys that needed to have their shit beaten.

>>5
Well! I hope her real brother isn't that uncouth!

>>6
Now listen here, these guys were disturbing her peace! They were no good.

>>1
Go back to the imageboards.

>>1
Was all that quoting really necessary?

p.s. I didn't read any of it.