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Ishtar the crazy stupid queen of whores

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-20 1:19

She asks the hero Gilgamesh to marry her, but he refuses, citing the fate that has befallen all her many lovers:

"Listen to me while I tell the tale of your lovers. There was Tammuz, the lover of your youth, for him you decreed wailing, year after year. You loved the many-coloured roller, but still you struck and broke his wing [...] You have loved the lion tremendous in strength: seven pits you dug for him, and seven. You have loved the stallion magnificent in battle, and for him you decreed the whip and spur and a thong [...] You have loved the shepherd of the flock; he made meal-cake for you day after day, he killed kids for your sake. You struck and turned him into a wolf; now his own herd-boys chase him away, his own hounds worry his flanks."

Angered by Gilgamesh's refusal, Ishtar goes up to heaven and complains to her father the high god Anu that Gilgamesh has insulted her. She demands that Anu give her the Bull of Heaven. Anu points out that it was her fault for provoking Gilgamesh, but she warns that if he refuses, she will do exactly what she told the gatekeeper of the underworld she would do if he didn't let her in:

"If you refuse to give me the Bull of Heaven [then] I will break in the doors of hell and smash the bolts; there will be confusion [i.e., mixing] of people, those above with those from the lower depths. I shall bring up the dead to eat food like the living; and the hosts of the dead will outnumber the living."

Anu gives Ishtar the Bull of Heaven, and Ishtar sends it to attack Gilgamesh and his friend Enkidu. Gilgamesh and Enkidu kill the Bull and offer its heart to the sun-god Shamash.

While Gilgamesh and Enkidu are resting, Ishtar stands upon the walls of the city (which is Uruk) and curses Gilgamesh. Enkidu tears off the Bull's right thigh and throws it in Ishtar's face, saying, "If I could lay my hands on you, it is this I should do to you, and lash your entrails to your side."  Then Ishtar called together "her people, the dancing and singing girls, the prostitutes of the temple, the courtesans," and had them mourn for the Bull of Heaven.

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-20 1:21

Oh, and about Enkidu?  Ever since, he been the champ.

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-20 4:29

Enkidu tears off the Bull's right thigh and throws it in Ishtar's face

Brick in a sock would have sufficed just fine, but if you've got a dead Bull of Heaven lying round, then I suppose you just have to make do.

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-20 4:38

It's pretty sad that people used to believe in such demonic tales.

Praise the Lord for spreading the gospel!

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-20 5:08

>>4
Self-defeating statement detected.

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-20 5:22

>>5
Self-fulfilling statement detected.

Name: RedCream 2010-11-20 16:45

i like it in the butt

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