Love dodecahedron tiem, what do?

This isn't as much a love dodecahedron as a bromance/love dodecahedron. I'm madly in love with dude A, who considers me a friend, and considers dude B to be a brother. I'm decent friends with dude B. Dude A used to be in a relationship with dude C, whom I am friends with, and knows dude B to some degree. Dude D is expressing worry over my powerful emotions for dude A, and he also happens to be friends with dudes A and C, as well as me. Dude D and dude E dislike each other; however, dude E is good friends with me, and sort of knows dude A. Dude F considers me a brother and I sort of like him, while dudes A and D find him laughable. Dude F has a huge crush on dude G, who is friends with dude H, who just happens to absolutely despise me. Dudes G and H also dislike dudes A and C-E. Dude I sort of loves me (not romantically according to him), and is in love with dudes J and K; he also sort of knows dude A. Oh, and then girl A is brother-and-sister with me. Add the "gay stalkers" in, who fantasise about raping my mother and I, and I don't know what the fuck to make of this situation. Who should I be trying to get in a relationship with, if anyone?

Ironically, the regular dodecahedron is one of the five Platonic solids.  So, you should keep your hands off each other.