joke thread

Three guys are walking down the street; two walk into a bar, and the third one ducked.

This thread makes me smile. :) I'm so glad no one knows about the text boards.

Also,

A banker decides to open a coal mine, and the foreman he hires promises him that the miners will mine 10 tons of coal per day. After a week, the banker checks his records and finds that he's only getting 7 tons of coal per day.

Disappointed, the banker calls the foreman and asks, "Why are you behind, is there something wrong?"

The foreman says, "Well sir, it's too dark for the miners to see, but they could meet the quota if only they had some flashlights."

The banker says, "Ok, I'll buy you the flashlights if it will help you meet the quota."

A week later, the banker checks his records and finds that they're only mining 9 tons of coal per day.

Frustrated, the banker calls the foreman and asks, "What's wrong? I bought you the flashlights, but you're still behind!"

The foreman answers, "Well sir, the miners can't hold the flashlights and the picks at the same time, but they could meet the quota if only they had some headlamps."

Aggravated, the banker says, "FINE, I'll buy you headlamps, but you better meet the quota!"

The next week, the banker's records show that the miners are down to only 3 tons of coal per day.

Furious, the banker drives down to the mine to see what the problem is, and when he arrives, all the miners are sitting down resting.

Enraged, he yells at the foreman, "What the hell? I bought you flashlights, I bought you headlamps, but now you're mining less than before!"

The foreman points at the miners and says, "Can't you see sir? They're all light-headed!"