Writing a book!

hello /lounge/
i am a struggling writer who have soon finished his first book.
here are some of it for you, please tell me what you think.

Last summer i murdered an 11 year old child who claimed to be named "Holger Holmestock", resident of Hebberhole, upper Cogdale, north westbottom. We met behind a carnivals sewage pipe just as Children's day was devoured by men's night. He seemed to be of the quiet and weak sort, and liking arose. I took him home, and after performing certain services he was tied down and thrown into a soundproof food cellar that i use for such things.
For six days he brought me much pleasure. His corpse was divided into appropriate pieces, was packaged and later price tags was applied to them. The meat was later placed in supermarket meat stores all across westbottom.
I kept his head though, it is now in my collection.

As I was burning the little fellows clothes and belongings, i found in the ship-rat's skin bag that he had had, a dependable ill treated bundle of wallpaper scraps, cluttered with a child's wavy and incomplete alphabet letters. He had given them the name "Tales from cogvalley", and here, i present them to you:

grand papa is long and have strong smell... and funky taste... hes almost like skeleton in body but hes handsome in face, but it is wrinkly... he has thin white hair put back and blue eyes that neve blink. he is worlds best grandpa, and im the only lil snippet he ever have loved...
i sat in knee of grandpa and put arms around he.
- you not frezn ar ye? he wondered.
- no, i lied, but i was almost entirely spent
grandpa was quiet for a while and gather his confuse thoughts.
he gurgled and spit out a slimy bloody clump and said:
- there was a time fore all went wronge lil snippet. the first aryans arrived in garebay 8000 yearse ago and they found the 10 commandments written into dead baby seals.
- it was the greatest time in ou history.. our chins and our blood was clean.. an we reproduced wid grace and elegance.. slowly and carefully.. us men had pleasure from each other.. grandpa swallowed, it was hard to go on.
- but something evil was on 'is way.. something that would destroy everything...

implying that destruction is evil when destruction is what allows the opportunity for creation...such ungrateful aspirations.

>>2
implying
http://boards.4chan.org/b/

You should have run it through a spell checker and capitalised it properly. Til then I won't read it. If you can't even put in the effort to present it properly this is nothing but a toy novel. I'll be happy to read once you've made the changes.

>>4
It's supposed to be a child's writing asshole..

>>5
Written by a child too.

Only an immature adult would mistake a child's work for an adults.

>>3
Sounds like a Jew right here.

>>8
perhaps we should entice the Jew with a tantalizing free ticket on a train to a special camp.

Last summer i murdered an 11 year old child
Stopped reading right there

>>10
pussy.

!!part 2!!

- Was't dem' wimen granpa?
- It was the wimen'!! 3 openings! no balls! a darkness enveloped the land.. word spread from the south but at first no one could even believe it! It started in ometown, they told us that some strange long haired creatures had landed on the shores.. there breasts were disgusting swollen lumps! did they not have things they wanted they started crying like babies!
- one word.. that is still the worst thing a man can speak on this planet was heard all the more often: pussy... they had pussies, they said. it was a sort of a furry rodent.. softer and more juicy than good ole anus and not as devilishly tight either! How could us righteous barbarians defile our dicks in such ways?! it was die wunde.. they were gaping bleeding wounds that would never heal..
Grandpa shivered in mindfulness.. The forest guarded his dark tales, the eternal battle of god and evil.
It was the pussies they used when they stole the Northlands from us! And big blue eyes that oozed of bitter deception and betrayal...