The healing effects of duck quacks

I have always found the quacks of ducks to be soothing.  Well it turns out that they have pretty good healing effects too.  The quacks have just the right vibrational reverbrative frequencies to interact positively with your internal physical resonances.  I have prepared a recording, pressed on special conductive metallic layer compact discs for maximum healing focus, and will sell these on television.  I will also open a clinic filled with real live ducks, specially bred.  I think I will call it The Quackery, because I think that is so cute.

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But think of it in a subjective fashion: when you see a duck gliding over the surface of the water and a snake zipping smoothly over the earth, does their commonality not strike you? 
And even if the precise nature of their locomotion is not identical, does not its similar appearance to our eyes, in a sense, give a kinship to these mechanically dissimilar yet aesthetically harmonious ways of perambulating to and fro?

(This is the kind of shit I have to deal with in lit crit classes.)