Happieness is a myth

invented to make us buy things

Happiness attained through materialism is a myth invented to make us buy things.

FTFY

oh yeah

>>2
Truth. I agree.

What they undertook to do
They brought to pass;
All things hang like a drop of dew
Upon a blade of grass.
                     - W. B. Yeats

honestly, without love, money and "success" does not happiness make.

i know this is cliched, something that any idiot knows, but i'm only now suffering from it.

i've enjoyed a startling uptick in my life, in terms of mobility and money, yet i still suffer from this inescapable depression that's the result of me fucking over what was quite possibly the love of my life.

i'm in a meeting yesterday, going over this press feature that's going to be written about us, and my mind isn't registering that i'm going to have someone write about the origins of our company and what it's about.

no, as it's been for the past few months, my mind is preoccupied with the horrendous things i did to this woman that i REALLY love.

i know this strikes yall as some emo-tinged blog post, but i just need to release this.

it hurts so much, because i had her heart right in my hands, but my own near sociopathic need to be ALONE compelled me to smash it.

she recently told a mutual friend that she thinks i'm a stranger, someone she never knew, that my behavior devastated her.

and, to top that off, she's dating someone who's the EXACT opposite of the type of guy she's always expressed interest in.

i mean, this is the kind of guy that is entirely antithetical to just WHO she is.

i'm not talking about some "bad boy" stud...complete opposite...

i mean, our mutual friend said she believes that she'll eventually come around, saying that she was in love with me long before i realized i loved her.

but, i'm not taking that to heart, finding it overly optimistic.

right now, she fucking hates me.

and, you'd think that i can go out and drown this sorrow in casual sex and mindless consumerist exploits..just buy shit and fuck pussy.

no.

i just want to crawl into bed, turn my phone off, and sleep.

>>6
Can't you write her a letter telling her how you feel and your reasons? If so, do it, make it honest and heartfelt. Don't do it to get her back, do it to ease her hurt and devastation.
Also, if you feel so guilty over hurting somebody then you should attempt to stop hurting things. Don't crawl into bed and hide, learn from your mistakes, figure out how to stop the hurtful behaviors and do that. Don't just start hurting yourself, that is the equivalent of a mother hurting her baby, the worst thing you can do.
The thing is that guilt sucks you into self-destructive behavior and that just hurts the world even more. If you are not able to get up and make your business a success, let her go, and learn from your past mistakes then you are a bad person. Sorry, but you must break the cycle of badness, ruining yourself won't do anything good and will just hurt everybody more.
Maybe she has gone forever, maybe you broke her heart. You can atone for such sins by making it your mission to do good in the world, for everybody you hurt in your past, make five feel good. That won't ease the sadness but it will stop you from being useless and compounding it.
If you have done something hurtful and driven away the person you love then you must accept it and spend your life trying to never hurt anything again.
I hope you understand my point.

i agree

I disagree.
Or maybe I agree.

>>9
I'm with you on that one.

>>10
Yeah, that's sort of what I was getting at, I think.

>>6
Funny I'm in a same situation, not totally the same but close only I'm a girl. I know how you feel about just wanting to turn off everything and sleep. He told me that I'm different from all the other girls he had known, but now he's with a girl that's the total opposite of me (and the total opposite of what he prefers in girls) but has a physical resemblance to me.

Agree with OP