New Year's 1k GET child thread

From 14:00 /lounge/ time, with 83 posts to go, we can only make 1.43103448 posts per hour on average! Your noble efforts are recognised, but please post sparingly!

I think we can all agree that it would be most magnificent if we flooded the thread with 1k+gets at midnight, and I think we can also all agree that this plan will inevitably be ruined, but we can at least hope and pray to Slaanesh.

>>120
Indeed.

cool nails http://www.japanprobe.com/2009/12/30/japanese-nail-art/
anyone else like them? :/

>>122
There's enough glitter, but where's the macaroni?

>>122
I was expecting construction nails beaten into pretty shapes and robots.

I'LL JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE,
JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE,
NILS OLE OFF THE BRIDGE!!

I got a beard trimmer for christmas.
It also has an excessory for trimming my nose and ear hear.

>>126
I've always dreamt of some day experiencing the pristine joy of a shaven anus.

I hate those damn ass hairs.  They always get in the way

>>128
Probably some sort of evolutionary trait intended to thwart parasites and homosexuals.

>>129
It is meant to hold in the ass smell so women will know that you are a man. I like to wipe my fingers in my asscrack when it is all sweaty and then sniff them. It is an addiction. I go for long walks purely to build up sweat in my crack for sniffing. Am I normal?

>>130
Are you an queer!

After eating most of the calf I look at myself in the mirror. There is grease all over my face. And then I start to eat at random. I bite her little toe. It still smell of her feet. I stab the knife into her arch and see the red meat deep inside. I thrust my fingers inside and dig out the meat and put it in my mouth. It tastes okay. Then I stab the knife into her armpit. Ever since I saw it under her yellow sleeveless top I wondered how it would taste this good.  The wonderful taste cheers me up and I devour her underarm up to the elbow.

Finally I cut off her private parts. When I touch the pubic hair it has a very bad smell. I bite her clit, but it won't come off, it just stretches.  So I throw it in the frying pan and pop it in my mouth. I chew very carefully and swallow it. It is so sweet.

After I swallow it, I feel her in my body and get hot. I turn the body over and open her buttocks, revealing her anus. I scoop it out with my knife and try to put it in my mouth. It smells too much. I put it in the frying pan and throw it in my mouth. It still smells. I spit it out. I go into the next room. It smell of fat, like I've been frying a chicken.

It's been twenty-four hours now. Some huge flies hover and buzz in the bathroom. I try to chase them away, but they came back. They swarm on her face. They seem to tell me that I've lost her forever. It is no longer her. Where is she? She's gone far away. I've broken her. Like a child who breaks his toy. I try to use an electric knife to cut her body. It doesn't work. It just makes a loud sound. I use a hatchet. I strike several times. It's hard work. I strike her thigh. Her body jumps up. If she could feel, it would have hurt.

Finally the thigh separates from her body. I bite it again, like I would bite a chicken leg. Then I cut off her arms. It is even harder than the thigh. I use the electric knife again. It makes a shrill sound, like the sound of her shrill voice. It works this time. Her hand still wears a ring and a bracelet. When I see her long fingers I am driven by another impulse. I use her hand to masturbate. Her long fingers excite me.

When I'm finished I try to bite her finger. I can't. I'm disappointed. I put her hands into the plastic bag along with her legs. And then I see her face. It is still quiet. She has a small nose and a sweet lower lip. When she was alive I wanted to bite them. Now I can satisfy that desire. It's so easy to bite off her nose. As I chew the cartilage I can hear the noise. I use a knife to cut off more of the cartilage and put it in my mouth. It really doesn't taste very good. I scoop out her lower lip with my knife and put it in my mouth. It has hard skin. I decide to eat it later when I can fry it. So I put it in the refrigerator.