I ask you - how do I kill myself?

My life is pointless - my mother scolds me all day, my father is useless, I have 5 siblings, no girlfriend, no life in general. Right now, I have a box of Mike & ike, paper, and a laptop. Tell me how to an Hero.

1)Paper cuts on wrists

2)Shove the Mike & Ikes down your throat

3)Beat yourself with the laptop until you cause internal bleeding

4) ?????

5) PROFIT