Weird things your grandparents said to you

"If you go near the port at night drug dealers will inject you with heroine so that you'll become addicted for life!"

"Feel free to wallow in your cesspool of self pity, blaming your cowardice on various unsubstantiated mental "conditions", society, women in general and "asshole jocks" for getting some when you are too much of a pussy to actually do anything about your situation.

Think your ugly? With your huddled over bad posture, body odour, greasy hair and sour, hate riddled grimace plastered to your face, you are. Have a bath, wash your hair, get some clothes, stand up straight, stop eating junk food, get some excercise you will look normal enough to be reasonably attractive to a normal, reasonably attractive girl.

Turn off your computer, go outside, and fucking smile because at least you don´t have people trying to shoot at you on a daily basis, at least you have food to eat and clean water to drink, a roof over your head, meaning about 60% of the worlds population is actually worse off than you, so stop your fucking whining and go and get whats yours"

"Oh dear God what are you doing with Rover, let him go you sick child!"

Sonny, if you eat the Shamans' Weed, you will die young. Don't eat the Shamans' Weed.

I still don't know what Shamans' Weed is.

( ´ﾟωﾟ`)   "We use to call brazil nuts nigger toes"