Scene 1: A Public Place

TYBALT Romeo, the hate I bear thee can afford
No better term than this,--thou art a villain.

ROMEO Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee
Doth much excuse the appertaining rage
To such a greeting: villain am I none;
Therefore farewell; I see thou know'st me not.

TYBALT Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries
That thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw.

ROMEO I do protest, I never injured thee,
But love thee better than thou canst devise,
Till thou shalt know the reason of my love:
And so, good Capulet,--which name I tender
As dearly as my own,--be satisfied.

MERCUTIO O calm, dishonourable, vile submission!
Alla stoccata carries it away.
Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you walk?

>>1
*yawn*

>>2
You're an anus!

TYBALT Romeo, I hate you so much
That I have to call you a villian.

ROMEO Tybalt, the reason that I have to love you
Excuses the anger
you greet me with: I'm not a villian;
So good bye; I see that you don't know me.

TYBALT Boy, doesn't excuse the injuries
Thet you gave me; so turn around and get ready to fight.

ROMEO I must say, I never injured you,
But love you better than you could know,
Until you know the reason for my love:
And so, good Capulet -- the name I use
As fondly as my own -- be satisfied.

MERCUTIO That's a weak, dishonourable, awful statement!
Tybalt, you rat-catcher, are you walking?

TYBALT Romeo, you are a pigfucker.

ROMEO Tybalt, I love you for a certain reason, so I'll ignore what you said and go now.  Bye!

TYBALT Dude, you hurt me regardless, get back here and fight.

ROMEO Hey, I never hurt you; I love you so much, and until you know why Capulet (I like that name), stay cool.

MERCUTIO That's lame ass bullshit!
Tybalt, you shit-kicker, are you walking?

TYBALT Romeo, FUCK YOU.

ROMEO Tybalt, nevermind.  Toodles!

TYBALT Let's fight, you pussy.

ROMEO I love you Capulet *giggles*.  Don't fret.

MERCUTIO That's faggot talk!
Tybalt, you cunt, are you walking?

>>2
Uncultured swine

>>7
^* philistine