Christians vs. Pedophiles

So we have Ninjas vs. Pirates. Now comes the sequel. Pedophiles and Christians have been at eachothers throats since anchient times.
Pedophiles pulled the greek society with its temples of Aphrodite,
but then Christians pulled the crucifiction of Jesus,
following up with crusades and witchhunts,
but then Pedophiles pulled The Golden Age of Enlightenment,
dealing one blow after another, until finally separating the church from the state,
but Christians came back with infiltrating child protection agencies.
That didn't stop Pedophiles from legalizing not only S&M, transsexuality AND homosexuality, but also allowing these sinners to marry in the own church of the Christians. Being a member of the christian church also became OPTIONAL.
...but by now Christians could pull censorship of film and media, and even PORN, sidestepping the Human Rights created by the Pedophiles, and they followed up with GEORGE BUSH.
...but the Pedophiles responded with 4chan and m00t, who was recently voted the most influential man on earth.

Will the final battle be between George bush and m00t, or will there be even more shenanigans?

Only one side can prevail...

Wait, wait, what's all this talk of Christians hating Pedophiles? Have none of you *seen* the Catholic Church and it's clergy? They're, like, the best of friends! Gay Pedophiles, Straight Pedophiles, Pedophiles who only like Lolita, Pedophiles who only like small foreign boys...they even hold annual events together, or so I'm told. I fail to see what this is all about! I'm pretty sure all the sexually repressed Christians loved children, in a very, very sexual way.